


medicine for melancholy

by nauxxious



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Healing, Love, Sanctuary, Slow Burn, rivamika, smoking/drinking/overall a good time, sublime nature
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2020-05-28 19:23:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19400755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nauxxious/pseuds/nauxxious
Summary: Finding the beauty in a cruel world, Mikasa and Levi also find each other, simply to share such artistry. Nature's canvas soothes all melancholy, even that in the coldest of hearts.





	1. La Femme Chinoise

Mikasa watched the sunset from the windowsill of her quarters, fading light spreading over and through the rolling clouds like a caress, turning the sky a pallet of deep violet, ember red, and eventually, obsidian blue with the coming of the night. 

It was only when the tallest spires of the castle no longer caught the last rays of light that she reluctantly slid off her windowsill to carry on with the rest of her night. These moments were her favorites, moments when she was free to relish in the languor of her solitude in light of beautiful scenery.

She opened the window to let in the late summer breeze, carrying the scent of jasmine blossoms that grew in the castle gardens, cooling the skin of her neck and bandaged chest; bare, save for her undergarments that she preferred to dress down to when she was in this sanctuary of hers.

Mikasa sighed and picked up her white dress to wear to dinner, careful so as to not bend over too much, since her ribs were still fractured from being grabbed by that titan, preparing herself to return to everyone.

Mikasa took one last look at the twilight outside, noting the moon had just peeked over the hills in beginning its rise.

With a pang, she wished every moment was as peaceful as this, and she longed to draw every breath carefree, just as she once was with her parents in their cottage in the mountains.

Looking down at her hands however, the hands that had slain countless titans, calloused, she remembered once again that her life was not her own. She was the girl worth a hundred soldiers, an invaluable asset to humanity, she had a purpose. She had been robbed of her softness.

It was a cruel world after all, and its breathtaking beauty made it all the more cruel.

She slipped out of her cozy room, shutting the door behind her, and set off down the hallway.

****** 

She decided she would wander around the castle before going to dinner, getting lost in the maze of what would’ve been a grand castle, had a noble with wealth resided in it instead of the Scout Legion.

Even so, she remarked at how duly remarkably clean everything was; even the sconces lining the walls were oiled and shining. No doubt it was Captain Levi’s handiwork, either of his own accord or ordering some new cadets to sweep until their arms fell off, noting this with humor.

She truly found it amusing what a clean freak he was, how his perfect composure would regard mold with more disgust than he would a titan.

As her mind continued to wander, she happened upon a branching corridor that looked earthen in stone, lit with candles instead of sconces, and she thought she could hear the faint sound of crickets.

The floor was largely undisturbed save for a single trail of footprints, which looked like they had been made recently from their crisp impression on the soil.

Curious, she ventured down the corridor until she reached a wooden door, the sound of crickets definite now. She swung upon the door to reveal a small courtyard and an entire greenhouse, right there nestled against the U the castle shape made.

Mikasa gave a small smile at this discovery. From the looks of the disused tunnel, it seemed to be undiscovered, a place where she could be alone, withdrawn as she was these days.

She crossed the small courtyard, her mood instantly improved, and entered the greenhouse.

The greenhouse was something out of her dreams, she’d never been in one before. More flowers, plants and herbs that she could ever hope to forage on her own collected into a microcosm of a forest.

She could only walk around and quietly marvel at the vegetation contained under the tall glass ceiling. Fireflies drifted around the air, and she could hear the spray of water, she guessed it to be a sort of water system to hydrate the plants.

She spotted a stove and sink along the counter towards the center of the greenhouse, and an idea popped into her head.

Mikasa decided against going to dinner and cook herself something here gathering fresh ingredients from the greenhouse. She wasn't in the mood to keep up her guarded front in efforts the others wouldn't see her melancholy.

She needed to be strong for them, and with physical strength she usually relied on being out of the question because of her injury, she had been faced with the harsh reality she had nothing to offer otherwise.

She could give no comfort, having the emotional sensitivity of a sharp knife, and saw no use to being around them. With a sigh, she started cooking.

*****

She regarded her finished dish with as much quiet pride as she’d regard a perfectly placed knife on a target.

She spotted a cabinet under a twining arch of ivy in the midst of the foliage, which she opened to discover an entire neatly laid out array of various types of alcohol; sake, wine, various fruit liquors and some she hadn’t had to the luxury to even see before.

Mikasa let out a breath, and grabbing a bottle of peach liquor, she picked up her plate and exited through the other end of the greenhouse that she had yet to see.

Here the courtyard was at its end, making for a space half nestled in the walls and half open to the sky above, with steps leading down to the gardens beyond.

There was a small area here of paved stone, and pleased, she noticed a small table with chairs and a stone fountain that streamed water behind it: a lovely area.

Content, Mikasa made for the table, when she stopped dead in her tracks: there was someone already sitting on one of the chairs.

Alert, she squinted in the dim moonlight.

She made out a slender figure stretched out on the chair, one hand on the table and another hanging at their side with their head tilted back. They appeared to be sleeping.

As Mikasa’s eyes accustomed to the the faint light coming from the moon, she noticed more details to the person: a cravat and cardigan despite the warmth of the night, hair as dark as the night, the outline of an angular jawline and chiseled features, with lips slightly parted. No mistake, it was Captain Levi.

She regarded him with interest, realizing she had never seen the man asleep, or even that she had heard of him sleep.

He looked younger, his usually cold features softened to an almost peaceful expression, his slow breathing sounding almost like a sigh.

Just as she was about to call out his name to rouse him up, a smile curled his lips, which she registered with mild shock; she had never seen him smile before. She didn’t think anyone else did for that matter.

She felt a pang of sadness in her chest at the thought, then turned around to leave so as to not disturb the pleasant dream he seemed to be having.

“What do you think you’re doing cadet,” a voice said from behind her a moment later, thick with sleep. She turned around in surprise.

“Sorry Heichou, I didn’t realize anyone would be here. I was just about to turn around when I saw it was you sleeping.”

He regarded her stoically, and his eyes lazily slid down to the steaming plate and the bottle she was holding.

They stood there for a moment longer, looking at each other when a gust of wind blew from behind her, fanning Levi’s bangs.

His stomach growled as the scent of her food reached him. She was flabbergasted.

“..Would you like some, Heichou?” She asked tentatively.

Still looking at her, he simply said “Yes”.

Mikasa remained standing in her spot, unsure what to do.

“Well come over here, sit,” he said impatiently. “It’s the least you can do after spying on your sleeping commanding officer”.

Mikasa walked toward to the table, saw it was already arranged with a set of teacups and pot, then set down her spread.

Having procured two glasses from the greenhouse, she sat at the table opposite him, finding he had relight the doused candle on the table for light.

Mikasa had made a simple dish consisting mainly of vegetables she had found in the greenhouse along with a light sauce, a roast similar to one her mother used to make for her when she was little.

Levi sat, the aroma of the dish wafting up, appraising the dish in what she sensed was silent admiration, despite his face giving nothing away.

He closed his eyes as he ate his first spoon with surprising delicacy, with Mikasa attentively watching.

Levi opened his eyes and looked at her, then turned his eyes to the bottle. Understanding, she poured the peach liquor into his glass, which he proceeded to take a sip out of.

He wiped the edges his mouth with his customary handkerchief, and to her surprise, sighed.

“That’s gotta be the best fucking thing I’ve ever tasted.” Levi turned his head up to the moon.

Mikasa, who followed his gaze upwards, smiled slightly

“Have as much as you like.”

“You eat too.”

So they ate in the summer night, a comfortable dynamic settling between them, surrounded by the ever-present soundscape of crickets with the trickle of the fountain stream.

The breeze occasionally blew the aroma of jasmine, accentuated by the fresh dewy mist coming from the greenhouse.

They didn’t talk during this time, just ate in silent appreciation of the meal and the peaceful night, steadily drinking peach liquor.

Levi put down his fork, having eaten everything on the plate, and gave a contented sigh.

“Where did you learn to cook like that? I never thought you’d be good at anything else aside from knowing how to kill a man seven different ways with a sweater.”

Mikasa looked away from him, growing serious, and looked down at her outstretched palms.

“I didn’t exactly ask for it to be that way. One day I looked down and all I found were the hands of a killer.”

“Your hands.” Levi was studying her.

“My hands are rough, calloused. Fighter’s hands to the bone. The same for my body. You won’t find an inch of softness anywhere anymore.” The conversation was dangerously close to breaching a sore subject for Mikasa.

“And now you’re regretful. Or resent is probably closer to it.” Levi stated this as a matter of fact, taking Mikasa aback, particularly because she knew deep down it was true.

“Well yeah, I have actually been thinking that way lately. I’ve been wondering what I would’ve looked like if I had never known war, or who I would have become if I ever had the choice. This can’t have been the only path for me. And what comes after the war ends? Or worse, something happens where I won’t be able to fight anymore.” Her hand moved down to her side, skimming over the tender and bruised flesh, wincing.

Mikasa was unused to speaking so many words at once, and had a dry mouth, so she polished off yet another glass of liquor. Levi had his gaze focused on her, arms crossed, sipping his own glass.

“This is why as of late, with us being at a standstill until Eren masters his hardening, I’ve been.. searching for something I guess. I’m not sure exactly what I’m looking for, a purpose, meaning, maybe even a reason. All I know for now is that I want my hands to be capable of more than just destruction.”

“Sound about right.” Levi leaned back in his chair, and his mouth twisted into a slight grimace. “So you too huh.”

Mikasa looked at him, confused.

“I became aware of the exact same thing some time ago, I wonder why you did too.

“There is no special meaning to the fight. We fight to survive and there’s little else to it. Humans are just that desperate to live, and you and I are no different. In short, there’s no reason as to why we should suffer like this, the world is just that cruel. Fighting’s in your blood, Ackerman, just as it is in mine. You’d be a fighter with or without something to fight for, it’s just who you are. If you start questioning the very thing you were born to do, there’s not much else left. Hold on to the things you know you have, rather than speculating on what could be or what never was. Right now I know that we have some damn good drink, and you made some damn good food with those hands you like to question. To regret your strength is to regret anyone you’ve ever saved because of those hands.”

Mikasa was listening to his words closely, turning over the stem of her glass in her fingers. She had wondered why she shared so much with him, but his answer was exactly what she didn’t realize she had hoped to hear from him.

“You’re right, it would be a waste of precious time to try and determine its meaning. From now on, I’ll only live in the moment, I’ll make it my objective,” said Mikasa, ever the diligent soldier. Levi smirked, picking up on this.

“Oi, not the reckless kind of living in the moment that you like doing in battles, brat.” He felt his injured leg. Mikasa’s face fell seeing this.

“I’m sorry Heichou, your leg was broken because of my thoughtless action, I never apologized to you before.”

“There’s no need to apologize, if I had gotten away from that battle unscathed after they..” He cleared his throat. “Anyways I’m glad to carry this burden with me, annoying as it may be to go take a piss”.

Mikasa smiled. “Wow Heichou, I didn’t know you could be such a chatterbox.”

Levi cracked an almost imperceptible grin. “In reality, I never shut up. And at ease, Mikasa, just call me Levi. The way we are now is far from formalities.” He poured her another glass of peach liquor.

The cooling night progressed in the same manner, the pair talking amongst each other, occasionally stealing a rare smile from the other’s stoic demeanor, more often as the liquor loosened them.

Levi eyed her after she finished what must have been most probably her seventh glass. “You know, I’d never allow cadets to be drinking like this”.

“You are aware that you’re currently, in fact, allowing it,” teased Mikasa, and Levi only huffed in return.

“What were you dreaming about?” Mikasa asked out of the blue.

Levi raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s nothing for a lady to hear.”

Mikasa raised her own eyebrow then, patiently waiting for his answer.

A while later, he finally spoke. “My fallen comrade, Farlan, was hanging from a tall clocktower in the underground in training to use our newly stolen ODM gear, and he was tensing so hard to keep his balance that he shit his pants; then finally lost his balance, and was swung upside down, leaving his brown ass hanging in front of everyones face.”

Mikasa gaped at him, open-mouthed in utter astonishment.

Some part of her that still retained sense three glasses ago registered that it was completely uncharacteristic of her to show this much emotion on her face, or any kind of emotion for that matter.

Levi, knowing this, was staring at her with open shock.

Then Mikasa started giggling, which soon progressed into full, hearty laughter, leaving her clutching at her belly.

Levi, amused at her display, started chuckling himself. Mikasa’s chest heaved as she gasped for breath, wiping tears from her eyes. They looked at each other, eyes glimmering with humor, then Mikasa playfully stuck her tongue out to him.

“Alright, I think you’ve had too much to drink now,” Levi said sternly, but the glimmer in his eyes stayed, giving away he was still amused.

“Come on, let’s get you up now.” Levi stood up and offered her his hand to help her up.

Mikasa stubbornly refused to take his arm and stood up in one smooth motion; which she instantly regretted as the world tilted to the side.

She lurched sideways but Levi was already there, steadying her as she grabbed on to his cardigan.

“Woah there, you’ve definitely had too much,” said Levi as she regained her posture; and hiccuped.

Mikasa turned to look at him with a wide grin spreading over face. “It seems you have so also indeed.”

Levi blew a breath of air at her nonsensical sentence, progressing into chuckling.

Taking her by her elbow with one hand and picking up his cane with the other, they walked towards the greenhouse, Mikasa closer to lurching.

They strolled through the foliage of the greenhouse, the fine mist of the spraying water settling on Mikasa’s bare arms, making her shiver.

Levi momentarily stopped to take off his cardigan, cloaking it around Mikasa’s shoulders, and she turned her face to him slightly in appreciation.

She felt her face warm after his gesture, probably from the drink they had, but she suspected it was because of something else too, but her thoughts were like sliding cubes of ice, and couldn’t make sense of anything at the moment.

They continued their journey, clearing the courtyard and going through the wooden door they had come from, and entering the hallways of the castle once more.

Even in her delirious state, Mikasa noticed that it was silent in the halls, and the lights were burning low.

“What time is it?” She wondered aloud.

Levi pulled out his pocket watch, his eyes widening. “It’s way past midnight.”

Mikasa looked at him, incredulous, and with the same stupefied expression on her face said “shhhh”, for no particular reason at all. She felt Levi’s body shaking with suppressed laughter.

 _What the hell has this night turned into,_ thought Mikasa, _I was just taking a walk and now Levi’s helping me to my room because I’m drunk at 1 in the morning after drinking with Levi and its uh, Levi._

She peered at Levi from her peripheral, observing the strong features of his jawline and the proud set of his head; his head of raven colored hair and eyes of the grey of a snowy mountain, flecked with a deep blue like the sunset she had watched earlier on, eyes that were… looking right at her, she realized with a jolt.

Her eyes dropped to his lips that she also just realized were moving, probably saying something to her.

“Hunh?” She managed to slur.

“I said, it’s not how I expected my night to go either.” His words came into focus.

“Oh. I said that out loud earlier didn’t I.” Mikasa was suddenly embarrassed.

“Yeah,” he said, the amusement apparent in his tone.

Climbing up the flights of stairs, a sheen of sweat broke out over Mikasa’s body. Suddenly too hot for the cardigan, she attempted to remove it with her poor coordination.

Levi, picking up on this, put her arms around her to remove it for her, his fingertips brushing the fine hairs on the nape of her neck, making her inadvertently shiver.

Levi glanced at her as she did, but probably dismissed it to her drunken stupor.

 _Probably? it should be, what the hell else would it be for?_ She thought, taking care not to say it out loud this time.

After what seemed like an eternity, they finally reached her room.

Mikasa was feeling dizzy beyond belief, her head swimming and her vision blurry, completely out of it.

Levi opened the door and led her inside, sitting her down on the bed.

She saw him kneel down to the floor in front of her, and her pulse sped up, ready to smack him away should he try anything funny.

 _What the hell am I thinking? where is all this coming from?_ Mikasa’s drunken brain cell was attempting to form a thought it seemed, and she was more confused than ever.

She visibly relaxed when she saw he had kneeled to dutifully take off her shoes.

Levi walked over to her pitcher of water and poured her a glass.

“Here, drink this.” He handed her the glass, which she drank with relief, still feeling hot.

Taking another look at her, he poured water on his crisp handkerchief until it was damp, and placed the cloth on her forehead, wiping the cool fabric around her face, moving down across her shoulders.

Mikasa sighed at the refreshing feel of the handkerchief as it cooled her feverish skin, closing her eyes.

She felt Levi tense, and suddenly stopped his movements, taking his hand away.

Mikasa let out a noise of complaint but was quieted by Levi, who placed a hand on the top of her head.

“Rest Mikasa.” He gently grabbed her to lay her down face up on her bed. “You’ll need it for the trip to the mountains tomorrow. Or today rather.”

The edge of Mikasa’s consciousness faintly picked up this last sentence, but she was already being pulled into the dark, snuggled under the covers that Levi had pulled up to her face, her breathing soft and even.

*****

“Mikasa.”

Mikasa was completely dead to the world, blissful.

“Oi, Mikasa.” A hand was shaking her that she barely registered.

“Mikasa!” The insistent hand continued to rattle her, barely rousing her. “MIKASA” A shout this time, Mikasa tore her eyes open to slits.

As her vision slowly cleared, she made out a blonde head and a pair of blue eyes hovering over her. Mikasa was still barely conscious.

“We’re heading out in just an hour Mikasa, you need time to get ready,” she heard Armin say.

Mikasa slowly and painfully sat up, her raven black hair tousled from sleep, rubbing softly at her eyes.

She was barely able to take in her surroundings, given what she noticed was a deep blue light in her room coming from the window, barely enough to see by, the candle burned out.

Confused, she thought it was the sunset, but the air was considerably chillier than it would be then, and she realized it was barely dawn. Her window was still open, and she heard the soft pattering of rain. 

“Heading..out?” Mikasa managed to croak.

Armin looked at her with a puzzled expression. “Did you forget? Today’s the day were going to the mountain cottages of Professor Thea, that longtime scholar friend of Hange who’s going to help us in cracking Eren’s hardening ability.”

Mikasa stared at him blankly, not remembering any instance where the trip was mentioned. Then again, she had been off on her own for a while now. “I’ll leave you to get ready.” Armin left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Mikasa fell back on to the bed, bone-tired. If it was the dawn now it meant she’d only had 5 hours of sleep, and her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, eyes burning.

She wasn’t hungover though, just feeling a bit fuzzy, more due to lack of sleep than anything.

 _Hungover?_ , Mikasa’s mind slowly mulled over.

She sat bolt upright, eyes wide as memories of last night came flooding back.

She remembered bellowing with laughter with Levi at his dream, how he had steadied and held her as he walked her up all the way to her room, how he wrapped his cardigan around her, him gently sponging her warm face and the skin of her neck and shoulders with his cool handkerchief.

Mikasa brought her hand to cover her mouth, mortified, her face burning from embarrassment.

She got out of bed to splash water from her pitcher onto her face, then walked over to the window, which she opened fully to let the crisp air of the rainy dawn cool her off.

It was raining heavily, puddles already collecting in the expanse of the countryside beyond the castle grounds, reflecting the deep blue of the skies and drops of golden sunlight that broke through the clouds.

She took a deep breath, already feeling calmer from the novelty of the dawn, and stood there for a while longer, gazing.

Mikasa pulled away and started preparing for the mountains they were apparently going to, and despite the rush she was in, felt elated at the prospect of seeing the mountains again, easing the aches and pains of her body.

 _No time for a bath,_ Mikasa lamented as she sponged herself from her basin as best as she could, all the while hurriedly dressing herself in her uniform. With the last essential touch, she wrapped her red scarf around her neck, and gathering her travel pack, left the room, the door shutting behind her with finality.

*****

As she walked, Mikasa saw from the windows of the hall the cadets had pooled out into the castle courtyard in the breaking dawn, yawning sleepily.

Not her though, she was wide awake now. She was snapped to attention, her back loose, ready to spring into action, her walking more of a prowl, slinking through the halls soundlessly like a hunter.

She was wondering why, her body usually elicited such a response when she actually was on the hunt or in covert operations. Now she was just in the castle halls, but she was wired for a fight.

She rounded the corner and came to the entrance. Her head clear and body steady with the flow of adrenaline, she exited out into the courtyard.

Even though the dawn had broken, it was still dark, attributed to the clouds blanketing the expanse of the sky, the rain still falling.

Mikasa had always preferred cloudy days, she thought it was more fitting for their world. A beautiful sky was almost painful, when so many ghastly and horrifying occurrences took place under it.

A cloudy sky was still beautiful to her; the world was not capable of ugliness after all, it was the people within that made it so.

But for today, Mikasa preferred the gloom as it provided her better cover from view.

She pulled the hood of her cloak up and lurked in the shadows, away from her comrades’ torches.

Mikasa was completely on edge for some unknown reason, and without knowing why, she searched the courtyard carefully.

Her eyes landed on a distant cloaked figure standing by the horses, her highly tuned instincts sensing the presence of another predator: Levi.

As she caught sight of him brushing the horses, her stomach clenched, her tension heightening.

Mikasa frowned. _Levi is the source of this? What does it mean for me to be so on edge? Is he a danger to me?_ Mikasa mentally debated.

She chose the possibility of him being a danger to her, as she could think of no other reason why her fight instincts would be activated.

 _I should tread carefully around this man_ , she resolved.

“‘Morning Mikasa.” Eren and Armin’s voices greeted her as she joined them. Mikasa smiled, already relaxing in their presence.

“So when do we leave?” Asked Mikasa.

“We should be heading out in 10 minutes or so, Levi Heichou is still doing some final preparations I think,” said Armin.

Mikasa narrowed her eyes at the mention of Levi’s name, frowning.

Armin picked up on her curious reaction, looking at her, his eyes glinting as they usually did when he began processing information to formulate a theory, she knew him all too well.

With the ease of much practice, Mikasa smoothed her features as stoic as an undisturbed surface of water before he could think any more.

Armin gave her another look before turning his head skywards. “This rain won’t do us any good on the path to the mountains.”

“Try not to slip and fall on your ass or off your horse, you’re literally built like a broom,” teased Eren.

An indignated Armin retaliated with his own response, and soon they were bickering, but Mikasa wasn’t really listening, her mind elsewhere.

“Oi, quit your bitching brats, it’s time to head out.” Levi’s voice suddenly came out of the blue, snapping her out of it as she faced him head on.

Mikasa locked eyes with Levi, who was meeting her on equal footing, matching her stoic expression with his own unreadable features.

Her stomach clenched again and stronger as she faced him up close, confirming her doubts that he was the source of the danger she felt she was in.

Mikasa was careful not to show her restlessness, she refused to lose.

“Uh, guys?” She tore her gaze away from Levi to see Eren and Armin staring at them, dumbfounded, caught in the middle of their showdown. “Tch.” Levi turned away. “I thought I said to move it, brats.”

Once he was out of hearing distance, Mikasa let out the breath she didn’t know she had been holding, feeling the odd clenching of her stomach again.

She placed a hand on her belly and frowned.

“Are you okay Mikasa?” Armin looked at her, concerned.

“Fine,” she replied curtly. “I think I just have a bellyache.”

“Everyone, mount your horses!” Levi was calling to the cadets in the courtyard, and they proceeded to hook their boots onto the stirrups to climb on.

“The rain will make the terrain more treacherous, so try not to stick to the ass of each others horses,” he said with his usual bored drawl.

Mikasa was at the back of their formation, with Eren and Armin in front of her, Sasha, Connie, Jean and Historia further ahead, with the large group of Hange’s scouts towards the front, the front taken by Hange and Levi. Without further ado, they set out of the courtyard in a thunder of hooves, pairing with the thunder rolling across the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to Ali, my ride or die and the only person who knows every side of me  
> In this fic I would like to explore Mikasa as an independent character who embarks on a journey to find her peace, of course away from Eren. I'm staying away from the excessive hate between Mikasa and Levi because to be realistic, I don't think Mikasa cares about Levi enough to harbor such strong hate for him, so their beginning lies in the foundation of their polite indifference and building up. Levi has his own peace of mind to find after all.
> 
> More fun to come in the mountains my friends, this is my first fanfic btw so bear with me  
> Much love, Mona


	2. Home

Levi hated rainy days. He was riding far ahead of the group, not in the mood to speak to anybody, much less being on the receiving end of Hange’s incessant chatter, of which he knew was going to be worsened tenfold now that they were going to meet what he had a hunch were her equally annoying scholar friends.

As if on cue, he heard her whoop and saw her slap Moblit’s face from his peripheral.

“Tch,” he said to himself, urging his horse further ahead.

Levi didn’t bother pulling up his hood, instead let himself get fully soaked and tilted his face up to the sky, closing his eyes.

Raindrops fell on his face like tears, mocking him in bitter irony, and he smiled humorlessly.

Despite himself, Farlan and Isabel’s faces floated against his closed eyes, making him suddenly snap them open.

He gave a defeated sigh. They never failed to show themselves on a rainy day like this. He was always on edge as a result, half expecting that fucking crawling abnormal to leap at him from a place just beyond his vision in the downpour.

He clenched his hands holding the reigns, his blood boiling from the memory. His horse nervously whinnied and skittered backwards, sensing his fury.

This sobered Levi, and he pieced together his composure.

“Down boy.” Levi soothingly ran his hand along the horse’s soft mane, an act that always relaxed Levi himself.

He took a deep breath and pushed any memories of his fallen family down. 

Levi found himself thinking of the words he had said to Mikasa last night, about there being no use in pondering the past or future, and realized he had yet to heed his own advice.

He remembered the serious look on her face as she listened to him talk with diligence, as if she was committing it to memory to improve her studies.

He also remembered the stupid grin spread on her face after he hiccuped, thinking she had caught him out, and gave a hum of amusement at the memory.

Immediately he frowned. Why should his thoughts drift to Mikasa of all people on a miserable rainy day like this? And even more perplexing, why did the thought actually improve his mood?

The way she was looking at him at the courtyard, wary and with bated breath, her impassive features shutting him out was nothing to be amused about, and he suddenly wondered why she had reacted in such a way. 

Levi was pleasantly surprised at how much he found that he enjoyed her company last night, but now she was back to her usual guarded self, even worse than that because of her strange demeanour towards him.

 _Gloomy brat,_ he thought to himself, vexed.

He realized he’d been looking up at the sky this entire time, and suddenly snapped to attention to take a look at his surroundings.

His horse had stopped at a bush and was nibbling on the berries hanging on the leaves.

“Oi. where the hell have you taken us you fat bastard?”.

They had strayed completely from the path, and were probably pretty deep in the forest by now.

Levi cursed, annoyed at his absent mind, his annoyance growing upon realizing he had no idea how to get back to the path; he couldn’t see a thing in the pouring rain.

“Fuck this rain,” he growled, getting off the horse and leaning against the trunk of a nearby tree, tilting his head back against it and closing his eyes. “Heichou.” A familiar voice called out to him.

Levi opened his eyes and looked around, seeing no one there.

 _Great, now I’m hearing things too,_ he griped.

“Levi.”

The sound of his name made the presence tangible, and he instinctively knew it was Mikasa’s voice.

“Mikasa.” He called out to her, opening his eyes and searching.

“Up here.”

He looked up to see her straddling a low branch on the tree opposite him. “What are you doing here?” She asked.

“I should be asking you that, I have no idea where I am.”

“Hange told me you were gone and she tasked me to find you. I found you.” Her speech was formal, cadet to commanding officer, as on guard as she was in the morning.

“You tracked me huh, even in this blasted rain.” He was silently impressed, particularly because she had managed to follow him undetected as well. “The others have all stopped since the rain is making it too treacherous to continue. We’ve reached the foot of the mountains too, so Hange-san said to stop until the rain lets up to ascend the rest of the path,” she reported. “We’d better do the same then, I see no point in rushing back to them now, especially since I can’t see shit.” Levi detached himself from the trunk. “And I don’t wanna be in this rain a minute longer.”

He tied his horse to the trunk, since he now knew it was annoyingly prone to wandering, and zipped up to a high branch with his gear.

“That is, unless you know the way back.” He was painfully aware of his pissy tone towards her.

“I..” She trailed off squinting around the surroundings. “I can’t get my bearings. The rain intensified after I took off and I was too.. occupied to take care in noting the way back.”

Levi didn’t engage her further, despite her statement puzzling him. It wasn’t like her to be distracted either, and he continued ascending the trees.

He found a spot in the treetops of two intertwining branches, forming natural seats, and was covered with a generous amount of foliage, enough that the branches underneath were completely dry.

“Come up here,” he called down to Mikasa, who he saw was no longer there.

He looked, and there she was behind him again. He regarded her, but said nothing, simply sat down on the curve of the branch.

She sat down on the opposite branch intertwining his, close enough that their legs were almost touching. He saw Mikasa move to take off her cloak, and proceeded to remove her boots and socks.

When she started unbuttoning her shirt, he tensed. “What are you doing?”

“I’m soaked. It’s cold,” she replied flatly, removing her blouse, leaving her only in her bandages wrapped around the curve of her body and the swell of her chest.

At this, he looked away, instead becoming aware that his own clothes were so soaked that the damp chill was settling down to his bones.

Grimacing, he sat up to undress in a similar fashion, unbuckling the straps of his gear to take off his shirt. They wrung out their clothes respectively and hung them on their branches.

Levi dragged his hands through his wet hair, causing a cascade of droplets to fall, and saw Mikasa twisting her own hair to do the same, their movements oddly in synchrony.

As proof, Levi only looked at Mikasa, and she understood to gather dry wood for a fire. Levi went as well, and they returned a while later with the necessary components.

Levi had found a sizable flat slate of rock, which he laid down at the place where the two branches intertwined, and Mikasa placed the pile of wood and dry bush she had procured on top of it, that Levi lit with a match from a matchbox that he kept with him.

Soon, a toasty fire had flamed, and they huddled close to its warmth, which cut through the chill of the air. Their dim sheltered area was aglow with the orange light of the flames, and the sound of the occasional crackling of branches drifted through the warming air.

“Pleasant,” said Mikasa as she held her hands over the fire, and Levi hummed in agreement.

His foul mood lifted, Levi found he felt at ease. There had never been a rainy day where he felt this comfortable he realized, and sighed almost with relief, leaning in closer to the fire.

Mikasa looked up at him as he did so, and saw the same feel of comfort reflecting his in the relaxed features of her face as they locked eyes; a lull given away by her own lidded eyes, the tension between them gone.

Levi felt a warmth spreading in his chest, which he suspected was not entirely because of the fire.

He closed his eyes, feeling this newfound warmth slightly thaw the ice he hadn’t noticed had been building up in his chest for a long time.

*****

Levi opened his eyes some time later, disoriented.

He looked around, then up at the sky, seeing the rain had stopped completely, and the rain clouds were pulled apart to swabs of fluff, revealing the sky of the late afternoon.

The very late afternoon. _Did I actually fall asleep?_ Levi was incredulous.

Last night’s doze was rare enough, but to sleep again right after that, and for this long too, was unheard of in his life.

He was lying down on his side along the length of the wide branch, and turned to lie on his back, letting out a breath. He turned his head and saw Mikasa lying on her side on the intertwining branch close to him, asleep, the fire between them reduced to glowing embers.

Her face was placid, lips parted, her breathing soft and even. The guarded and hard expression she bore when she was awake was gone, and Levi felt a curious feeling from the soft features replacing it.

He understood now what she spoke of last night about her stolen softness, sharing her lament that the world should do this to such a beautiful girl.

But then again it was her unrelenting strength that made her so beautiful to him, seeing her fight in equal parts of savageness and grace like an art form. Of course, he would never admit this to her, instead it was more likely he would gripe about her footwork or some other minor mistake she made. It was probably because of this that she probably didn’t think very highly of him.

He pulled his cloak from the branch, now dry from the heat of the fire, and blanketed Mikasa with it since she was still in her bandages. She stirred lightly and buried her face against his cloak.

Their dynamics just felt so domestic to him he couldn’t help but chuckle softly at the scene. Here were the two strongest soldiers of humanity, literally sitting in a tree.

Levi let Mikasa sleep for the time being, knowing she hadn’t gotten much rest since last night, and reached up to grab his shirt, and got to work rolling himself a cigarette.

The routine of rolling was always a welcome distraction to him, since it busied his hands with something other than weapons for a change. He always kept his kit with him, and flavored his rolling papers in his free time.

He started making his own mix of tobacco too, once he found the formerly barren greenhouse hidden in the small courtyard of the castle one night a couple of years ago.

He planted and tended to that greenhouse like there was no tomorrow, and at one point it was the only thing keeping him sane. He understood all too well Mikasa’s need to have something to him other than the war.

The result was the flourishing greenhouse she had wandered upon yesterday, although she probably would never even fathom it was his doing, she must think of him as nothing more than a demon at this point from what she’d seen him do; he assumed he hadn’t made a good first impression either beating her adoptive brother to a pulp at that court.

He focused again on the task at hand, rolling within seconds with the ease of much practice, and licked the edge to seal it up.

He felt a gaze on him, and looked up to see Mikasa quietly watching him through sleepy eyes.

“You’re finally awake.” Mikasa sat up laboriously and yawned deeply while stretching, wincing and placing a hand on her ribs as the movement strained her injury.

“How are your ribs?”

“They’ll be better once you give me that cigarette you just rolled,” she said seriously, and he handed her the cigarette with a small smile tugging at his lips from her deadpan wit.

She placed the cigarette in-between her lips and Levi struck a match and leaned in close to light it for her, shielding the flame with his other hand.

She took a long, appreciative pull and inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. She exhaled through parted lips and to his surprise, smiled.

“This is really good, unlike any cigarette I’ve had before,” she said, openly praising him.

The smile tugging on his lips was back again. “I take care of what I put in the mix.”

“Is it cherry flavored too? Yum,” she said in-between a breath of smoke. “I saw numerous tobacco plants in the greenhouse, that was your doing after all.”

He looked at her. “So you realized. Wasn’t sure you would.” He started rolling his own cigarette to smoke with her.

“I couldn’t believe it, I mean an entire greenhouse, amazing. But the meticulous care and systems of the greenhouse reflected the meticulous upkeep of the castle indoors. Every hallway was cleaned and dusted, down to the very sconces lining the ceiling. For a narrow earthen-in-stone corridor that was clearly not in use, the greenhouse was perplexingly as meticulously kept; there was no stray soil anywhere, and the vegetation was plentiful but still grew in a controlled way. In my mind there’s only one person out there who’s capable of that. And then I saw you there asleep. I realized I had never heard of you sleeping, and I often see you heading to the training room in the middle of the night, and by the time I go in the morning, you’re still there. I figured it must have been a place you felt comfortable in for you to actually sleep there, therefore you must go there often. It was just too much of a correlation not to lead me back to you.” She answered conclusively and took another drag of her cigarette.

Levi was looking at her. He usually focused on her strength as a fighter that he often underestimated just how sharp she really was.

He finally genuinely smiled, then lit his freshly rolled cigarette and took a long drag himself.

“You’ve got me all figured out huh.” He exhaled through the smoke, amused at her serious expression as she debriefed him. She smiled back, with a playful glimmer in her eyes, an expression she once again surprised him with.

Levi admitted to himself that he definitely enjoyed her company. He was intrigued as well, in a day he had seen more to her than he had the whole year he’d known her, and he couldn’t help but wonder just what more there was under all those layers she buried herself under.

She seemed to have a way of putting him at ease, lowering his own defenses that he guarded himself behind as well she did, no small feat considering he’d been this way for a long long time, but she appeared to be more than capable of scaling them.

The warm feeling in his chest was back, confusing him since the fire had long burned down, but he welcomed the feeling regardless, taking another pull from his cigarette.

Levi looked up to the sky, and saw the sun had begun to set, coloring the spread of clouds in shades of violet and deep orange.

From their vantage point, he had a good view of the hills to his north, east of the mountain range they were about to ascend, and was grateful for the open view of the sunset the low hills provided him.

He heard Mikasa let out a breath and turned to look at her, and saw an expression of quiet awe on her face.

Just as she was when she was asleep, Mikasa had the same unguarded demeanor looking at the sunset, her lips parted in marvel of the view.

Probably sensing him looking at her, she turned to look at him, her expression unchanged. “This is my favorite time of day, it’s always beautiful.”

Levi turned his head back to the horizon. “Yeah, not bad at all.”

He more than most treasured the scenery as a result of his upbringing.

Mikasa finished off her cigarette and turned to look at him. Levi smiled softly, understanding, and began rolling them two more cigarettes.

Sitting close next to each other on the same branch now, they smoked and watched the rest of the sunset in a comfortable silence.

Once again, Levi was struck by how relaxed he was, lounging on the branch and leaning back on one hand, feeling the pleasant buzz of the tobacco. “Serene,” Mikasa commented, echoing his thoughts.

Even though Levi wanted to remain perched there in their shelter, he was an officer after all.

“It’s about time we get going if we want to find our way back to the path, it’ll be dark soon,” he dutifully said, standing up and reaching out his arm to help her up, which she took and stood up, his cloak that was wrapped around her shoulders slipping off, leaving her in her bandages once more.

As if suddenly realized she was wearing that the whole time, Mikasa turned away from him quickly and pulled off her clothes from the upper branch and dressed herself in her blouse and cloak.

She handed his cloak back to him when she was done, smiling softly. He took the cloak with a nod and pulled it over his head.

Both dressed now, they leapt down to the forest floor, leaving their shelter.

Levi walked up to his horse who was now sleeping, probably because of all the food he foraged around the bush, and untethered him.

Levi smiled, the horse’s character now endearing, and stroked his cheek to rouse him up.

“Where’s your horse by the way?”

“I left him behind when I heard you were gone, figured I’d go faster with gear.”

“So you didn’t take care to remember the way back, and you also left your horse? What if I fell off the hillside and was injured and my horse had run off for example?” He scolded her for bad strategy.

“It was exactly thoughts like that that made me rush off in the first place. I was worried,” she said, meeting his eyes.

Levi looked away. “Just don’t be reckless.”

He’d be lying if he said the prospect of her worrying about him both unnerved and gratified him, and mounted the horse, with Mikasa hoisting herself up with ease after him.

“That way.” Mikasa pointed to the east.

“Alright you fat bastard, make penance for your gluttony.” He set them off at a brisk canter.

As the horse lurched, Mikasa clutched his sides to steady herself.

“Hold on, it’s going to be quite a ride.” Mikasa encircled his waist with her arms, occasionally grabbing at the material of his shirt in particularly bumpy intervals, balling her fists into it.

As he spurred the horse into a gallop, she pressed up against his back completely, her hands low on his waist.

For the sake of common decency, he tried not to be too aware of her breasts pushing up against his back, but was, indeed, completely failing.

He felt her warmth radiating onto him, pleasantly toasting his back, and he felt the peculiar warm feeling in his chest once more, coupled with a speeding up of his pulse.

Trying not giving much thought to it, Levi rode on, simply glad Mikasa was with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can tell I smoke lool. Things are picking up between them slowly slowly, as it should be. Prepare urself for the mountains in the next adventures of fat bastard, the horse.


	3. Beef stew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of scout fuckshit, spoof on titan style haha enjoy

The air in the forest was incredibly fresh and crisp, the downpour having purified the atmosphere, the smell of rain still lingering in the air.

The sky had darkened to her ideal state, an impossibly deep blue blending in with the darkening shades of the coming night, but not quite there yet. The liminal stage between the sunset and the night.

She was pressed up against Levi, comforted by the strong muscles of his back she felt moving as he rode the horse, cozy.

After a while of riding through the forest, she got comfortable enough to lean her head forward against his shoulder, tilting her head up to the skies. A tall cloud of pure white with brushes of gold drifted overhead, catching the last rays of the sunset from its impressive height, contrasting against the obsidian blue of the skies.

Nature’s canvas never failed to take her breath away, and added to the thrill of the full gallop Levi was riding the horse at, Mikasa just couldn’t help but laugh a joyful laugh from the bottom of her heart.

Levi turned to look at her then, and flashed her a genuine smile, seeing the same exhilaration she felt reflected in the dancing gleam of his eyes.

In turn, she buried her head against the hood of his cloak and hugged him tighter, splaying her hands against his hard stomach then gripping his shirt.

What she thought was her stomach clenching in a weird bellyache before was actually fluttering, she just hadn’t realized at the time.

It took her nearly two hours of hard thinking when she was riding at the back of the formation to even consider this, and even then it was only made tangible when she felt her heart drop hearing Hange frantically telling her Levi was gone and to search for him.

She had leapt off her saddle and was flying through the forest at full speed before she knew it, by chance spotting a broken branch and further on a disturbed bush, relieved when she found him at the tree, feeling the strong fluttering once more upon encountering him.

She still didn’t know what exactly that would mean in the general sense, all she knew is that once she had opened her eyes too it, it was not an unpleasant feeling at all, therefore in her mind, no real harm could come from it; especially in comparing how she initially perceived it as her instincts telling her to beware him.

That to her was pitifully amusing, it truly showed how limited her scope of emotions were when not concerned with fighting, a restraint she had been aiming to break free from as of late.

So why the hell not go with its flow. Levi as her Captain had given her the valuable advice to live in the moment, and as someone who stares death in the face almost everyday, she couldn’t believe that she hadn’t understood the importance of doing so before.

She now resolved she would live freely, and should she die, she would die without an ounce of regret. A little indulgence wouldn’t kill her, a titan was ten times more likely to do so.

Mikasa tilted her head back, the wind whipping the strands of her hair, with a smile on her face. _Damn it all to hell,_ she thought to herself.

The horse leapt suddenly, breaking free of the forest, and thundered down a worn dirt path that gradually rose upwards. As it rose, the trees on either side of the path got taller and taller, with the path itself progressively meandering more often and with sharper turns as they ascended up the mountain.

Levi urged the horse into an even faster gallop, and it was all Mikasa could do just to hold on. For now, she would just enjoy the ride, her chin tucked into Levi’s shoulder, their cheeks occasionally brushing, feeling warm.

*****

After hours of riding, they finally reached the cabins situated high up in the mountains well into the night, Mikasa and Levi breathing hard from the merciless pace at which he rode the horse.

Levi slowed the horse to a walk finally, and she relaxed against him, no longer needing to hold on for dear life, letting out a long breath of exhaustion.

“Tired?” He said to her, smiling softly.

“That was one hell of a ride that’s for sure,” she laughed as softly.

She felt his hum of laughter reverberating in his body from her hands that were comfortably wrapped around him still, leaning her cheek against his shoulder once again, the strength going out of her.

The cabins were dotted around the area, a relatively small amount of them it seemed, and Mikasa wondered if they were enough to accommodate all of the scouts. One cabin was higher up than the others, against the sloping rise to the mountain peak.

“Get ready to dismount,” Levi said to her as they reached the stables. “It’s going to hurt like a bitch. I’ll go first.”

With a pained expression, Levi laboriously lifted his leg to swing to one side, sucking in a sharp breath as his legs came together, and slowly slid down from the horse. He groaned and put his hand on the horse to support himself.

“Ready?” He looked up at her.

Mikasa knew that she was in much worse shape than Levi, since she hadn’t even been in the saddle this whole time, and had used every ounce of her strength to hang on, so was very doubtful indeed of how ready she was.

Mikasa attempted to lift her leg, and a sharp pain immediately seared through the locked muscle of her thigh, making her yelp.

“That bad,” Levi said, concern coloring his tone.

The next moment his hands were grabbing her waist and he lifted her up off the horse in one motion, making her cry out as her legs suddenly came together.

Levi swung her into him, one hand under her back and the other under her knees, kneeling down onto the ground.

Mikasa was breathing hard, a tear streaking down her face from pain reflex, stretching out her legs and rubbing her thighs together.

“I thought it was better to do it all at once”.

Mikasa said nothing, and closed her eyes trying to recover.

“Can you walk?” Asked Levi, to which Mikasa gave him a pointed look at.

“I might need a minute.”

“Hm.” Levi stood up, lifting her up in his arms along with him. “We’ve already been held back enough as it is.”

“Hey put me down!”

“No way, we’ve spent hours on horseback and I smell like it, I’ll go crazy if I have to stay in a shitty stable with that horse for another second. I can’t wait around until your highness decides she feels cozy.” Levi carried her out of the stables and started walking towards what seemed to be the main cabin of the lodge.

Mikasa fumed at this and punched his shoulder, attempting to wriggle out of his arms. In turn Levi responded with swinging her over his shoulder, and started carrying her like a sack, continuing their walk through the cabin lodge.

Mikasa yelped, and just before she was going to snap her leg back to kick Levi in the face, the door of the cottage suddenly flew open.

“LEVI, MIKASA!!” Mikasa saw upside-down Hange barraging towards them at full speed.

“I was worried sick I’ve been waiting for hours what the hell happened??” Her eyes went to Mikasa slung over Levi.

“Oh God is Mikasa injured?!”

“Just the brat flu,” replied Levi coolly against her storming fuss. “We were riding hard for hours.”

Hange ceased her fussing, and her concerned expression slowly morphed into a suggestive, ear-to-ear grin.

“Riding hard huh? And for hours? I’m both incredibly surprised and impressed Levi, Mikasa can’t even walk!” She said, laughing heartily.

Mikasa choked and looked at Hange in horror, feeling her cheeks flame up. She sensed a murderous aura radiating off Levi, the expression on his face lethal. Hange’s laughter quieted upon seeing this.

“Joke! It was a joke,” she chuckled nervously. “Well, dinner anyone? You made it just in time. There’s yummy beef stew, beef! Keep your wits about you in preparation to secure it however.”

After Levi finally put her down, and she shot him a glare, Mikasa realized she was famished, and her stomach growled inadvertently upon the mention of stew.

The thought came to her of facing everyone inside upon arriving here with Levi, and knew a similar response to Hange’s would be elicited, but she was too tired and hungry to care.

“Well come on in! Everyone’s still inside.” Hange walked into the cottage.

“That woman,” growled Levi.

Mikasa promptly ignored Levi, having decided against pointing out it was his fault, and walked past him into the cottage.

*****

Mikasa stared at the scene unfolding in front of her.

In the spacious dining room of the cottage, the dining table had been pushed aside, and all of the scouts were stood in a circle with their hoods up, each holding a candle, the only illumination in the room.

There was a figure standing in the middle of the circle they had formed that stood up on a chair.

“Meat! The food of the gods. Bow down miserable plebeians for the grace being given to you of feasting on this mana, offer your hearts!” Preached who she recognized was Sasha, raising a dish of stew above her head.

There was a collective uproar from the scouts, and all, in perfect synchrony, performed the soldier’s salute.

Someone held their candle too close to their cloak, and it caught fire. She recognized Connie’s voice screaming, and he dropped to the floor in flames in an attempt to put them out.

“A sacrifice! Very good!” Wailed Sasha. “Bring him forth!”

A scout actually rolled Connie’s flaming body to the centre of the circle.

“It’s alright everyone. If there is something I would die for, its this.” Connie spoke softly, then spread his arms out across the floor.

The hooded figures all extinguished their candles to leave Connie’s flaming body as their illumination, and bowed down to their offering.

At that, she felt the air next to her move, and saw Levi had disappeared, only to reappear momentarily at the centre of the circle, tearing off Connie’s cloak and stomping it under his boot, pitching the room into darkness.

“The gods have accepted our offering!” She heard Sasha cry out in the dark after a moment of stunned silence.

“They have eaten Connie! Now we will be blessed with good fortune in our hunt for meat in the near future. Quickly now! Find the Stray God and embrace Him for His benevolence before He returns to the heavens!”

Mikasa suddenly realized no one had seen it was Levi save for her, as they were all bowing at the moment he extinguished the flaming cloak, and sure enough, they all surged towards him at the centre.

She heard Levi shout as they rushed at him, but his voice was drowned out by the scout’s reverently wailing in zeal, and was soon buried under their onslaught.

Mikasa could only stand as the roiling mass of people clashed together, all tumbling over the other in complete darkness, a startled gasp of laughter bubbling up in her chest despite herself at the scene.

Their wails turned to yelps of pain as they all stepped over the other, and despite her quiet amusement, at this she went to light a later she had made out in the dark next to her, carrying it nearer to the mass.

As the light flared up, the scouts all stared around their dimly lit surroundings, blinking and disoriented, piled up on top of the other.

“Oi.” A muffled and low voice growled, seeming to come from the bottom of the pile, causing their heads to turn in confusion trying to identify the source.

“Your Stray God is Levi Heichou,” said Mikasa, half of her face illuminated in the flames, looming over them with the lanterns like a reaper.

The horror of the realization slowly dawned upon their faces, and they all recoiled away in pure terror, scrambling to relight their candles to see better. The light revealed Levi lying flat on his back, completely disheveled, his cloak gone and the sleeve of his shirt torn, hair thoroughly mussed.

A collective scream rose from the group, Mikasa’s ears picking up Historia’s voice alone laughing.

“We’re very sorry sir! We didn’t know it was you sir! It won’t ever happen again sir!” They shouted in unison, bowing their heads.

“I don’t want you to be sorry you fucking idiots I want you to be better,” snarled Levi, picking himself up off the floor.

The group all cowered under his withering glare as he loomed over them, but he surprised everyone, including Mikasa, by dropping his expression, giving a deep sigh in its stead.

“I’ll say, it’s good to see everyone back to their dumbass self again. We’ve had a rough time lately, so it’s good your morale is back to its former state. You’ve also managed to cheer up your comrade Historia, so I’ll let this complete farce slide for just this once.” Levi spoke in his own uniquely kind manner, a way that always roused their respect instantly, even with his comically disheveled appearance now.

Once the scouts had got over their initial shock at receiving a rare display of Levi’s validation, made even more shocking by the fact that it came after they had just trampled him, they all suddenly cried out “Levi Heichou!” In pure love, with tears streaming down their faces.

Levi closed his eyes, and smiled. Everyone relapsed into shock again from this even rarer display.

The window of the cottage flew open at that moment from a sudden gust of wind, which blew through the room, strong enough to extinguish everyones candles, leaving them in the dim lighting of the lanterns once more.

The gust turned into a gentle breeze, tousling his mussed hair back into his smooth sweep of bangs, then late summer fireflies wandered in through the open window, dancing around Levi. The clouds broke then, the full moon shining through, bathing Levi alone in a silver light, mellowed by the jade green of the fireflies around him, his eyes closed and still smiling.

“S-Stray God!” Someone in the group stammered, in awe at his light.

“Stray God!” The collective picked up, crying even harder now, basking upon the angelic apparition before them.

Mikasa herself was moved by the sight, realizing for the first time how gracefully beautiful he truly was.

“Stray God let us embrace you please!” They begged, still in unison.

“I guess if you insist on doing so at this point it would be more annoying to resi-“ Levi was cut off as he was wrapped in a group hug by Sasha, Connie and Hange, all who were freely crying still.

“Beautiful! You’re beautiful Levi!” Sobbed Hange.

The room was filled with similar clamours of “fallen angel”, “moonlight prince”, “Stray God” and more.

Levi’s eyes found hers in the midst of the commotion, and she smiled tenderly to him. She saw his eyes widen slightly, but returned the smile to her, wrapped under six scouts.

“Now can a man enjoy some stew in relative peace,” said Levi.

“You heard the Stray God, bring Him and His otherworld Consort their Meals, quickly!” Snapped Sasha to the rest of them, gesturing between Levi and Mikasa.

The scouts detached themselves from Levi and rushed to set the long table for everyone, cleaning up the mess left behind from their sacrificial ritual back to a presentable dining table.

Once the meal was arranged, they all took their places, the scouts making Mikasa and Levi sit at the middle of the long table opposite each other.

The dinner that followed was lively, a good mood dancing through the atmosphere, which made Mikasa’s food taste all the better as she dug in hungrily.

The stew was indeed delicious, and she could see why the deprived scouts were driven to mania because of it.

She was content enough to participate for once in Eren and Armin’s banter, who were on either side of her at the table.

She stole occasional glances at Levi, who was eating with as much gusto as she was, and seemed to be in a good mood by his relaxed features, which made her happy to see.

“Now that I remember, where is that Professor Thea?” Levi asked Hange, who was sitting on his right.

“Ah she said in her letter she had some unexpected business to take care of in some district city nearby, but should be arriving tomorrow.” Hange now had a dreamy look in her eyes.

“Ahhhh it’s been so long since I’ve seen her! I need to tell her absolutely every detail from all of my experiments on Titans across these years, and I can’t wait to hear everything about her research as well in her astronomy! To think she’s the only person in the walls to think about studying the stars, she’s truly ahead of our time, everyone’s so busy trying to ponder what’s outside that they’ve never even thought about looking up and beyond the skies; humans are so narrow minded and her work should open our eyes to how small we are in the grand scheme…” Hange chattered on excitedly, at which Mikasa rescinded her ability to hear in favor of her growing headache.

She sensed more than saw Levi do the same.

*****

“What a meal! Enough to make a woman want to leave this life behind for the privilege of having this taste everyday,” sighed Hange wistfully as they all pooled into the front porch of the cottage.

“Oh I forgot to tell everyone! If you go up to the higher cabins and make a short climb to the west, you’ll find the hot springs of the mountain, isn’t this place amazing?”

Mikasa’s ears perked at the mention of the springs.

“Go take a bath soldiers, you all smell like shit. I had the pleasure of experiencing that firsthand,” commanded Levi.

“Yes Stray God sir!” The scouts cheered.

“Mikasa! Come with us, the girls will take a bath together.” Sasha approached her, followed by Historia, Hange and all the other female scouts.

Mikasa smiled imperceptibly and took the arm Sasha offered to her to walk arm-in-arm, shocking Sasha.

“Are you feeling alright Mikasa? You’ve never accepted to walk with me before!” Sasha stared at her, mouth agape.

“I think Mikasa is in a suspiciously good mood today, don’t you think Sasha?” Hange said slyly as they walked through the lodges. “I think it may perhaps have something to do with the fact she showed up here hours after us being carried in Levi’s arms.”

“You what!!” Squealed Sasha, and to her surprise, Historia along with her. “No I wasn’t being carried in his arms! Well, I kind of was, but not in the way you think, I just couldn’t immediately walk since we were riding so hard for hours.” Mikasa realized the mistake of her phrasing as soon as the words left her mouth.

“You were what!!!” They shouted again.

Mikasa buried her face in her hands, refusing to continue digging her own grave.

“I made the same mistake, but isn’t it fun poking at Mikasa like that? The girl never reacts to anything, but bring up Levi and she’s mortified!” Hange winked at her.

Mikasa began to sulk as she trudged up the slope to the high cabins. “C’mon Mikasa! Being embarrassed is for our green trainee selves, we’re all full soldiers now; and we’re women too!” Said Sasha.

They headed east along the tree line behind the highest cabins, and a lone cabin higher up than the rest came into view. They climbed up the steps etched into the stone of the mountain through the trees, the group of the men some lengths behind them.

“Repeat after me! Anything we do, we own it!”

“I am.. a woman,” mumbled Mikasa sullenly.

“That’s good enough!” Sasha grinned.

After walking through the trees at the summit of the steps, the permanent snow on the ground here crunching under their boots, they arrived at a clearing situated at the edge of the mountain, the large steaming springs having a gorgeous view of the open night sky, with mountains rising up near and around them, the air crisp and cool from the altitude.

A collective of awed gasps rose from the group women, Mikasa now in an improved mood too, at the marvelous scenery of the baths.

“The best bath of the mountain ladies, the men’s bath to the east of here has nowhere near as nice a view as this,” said Hange as they all undressed.

It was a relief for Mikasa to discard her uniform, having sweated a lot during the horse ride here, and even more of a relief when she peeled her now soiled bandages off her, revealing the dark purple and yellow bruising on her rib.

She walked over to the cloudy light blue waters of the springs and slipped in, the water enveloping her in its warmth, pleasantly scalding, all the day’s grime collected on her being stripped off as she scrubbed herself in the waters.

Mikasa dipped her head beneath the water then resurfaced, leaving the water right below her nose, feeling the tension leaving her muscles as she sat low in the water.

The spring was big enough for the all scouts to be spread out with some distance between them. Mikasa swam to the centre of the pool to get a better view of the night sky as she floated in the water, gazing up at the constellations in the pure night sky.

“Hey Mikasa that bruising’s looking pretty bad,” said Hange. “I’ll go with you to your cabin after this so I can apply some salve on it and give you a fresh wrap.”

“Thanks,” said Mikasa. “That reminds me, which cabin am I staying in?”

Hange froze. “Well, about that..”

Mikasa looked at her, puzzled.

“Well, we all got here hours before you did, so I told everyone to just go ahead and take their cabins; you may have noticed when you arrived but there are too few cabins for all of us, everyone’s sharing in pairs and they’ve all already been taken. Well, save for one.”

Mikasa continued to look at her, waiting for her to get to the point, now apprehensive from her excessive use of ‘well’. In her experience, troubling news was always delivered with a good deal of evasive ‘wells’.

“You saw that cabin that’s higher up than all of them towards the peak? That’s your cabin.” Mikasa relaxed and sank back into the water to her nose at this, writing off Hange’s odd roundabout speech to just one of her quirks.

“You and Levi’s cabin.” Mikasa breathed water right into her nose as she inhaled sharply, making her splutter.

After a moment of silence, Sasha and Historia burst out laughing. Mikasa stared at Hange.

“I know! I know, but don’t worry! It’s a cottage more of a cabin, it’s big you’ll both have your space, just, y’know, together.” She continued to stare at her.

“I always planned to leave that cabin for Levi from the beginning, but it was unprecedented for you to be held back with him so I kind of just had to put you there.”

“Why are you explaining yourself Hange? I’m sure deep down she’s leaping with joy at the prospect,” Historia said dryly, making Sasha laugh even harder.

She shot them a murderous glare, which quieted them.

Mikasa sunk into the water, floating face down. She had warmed up to Levi these past couple of days, and she realized earlier on she actually felt quite comfortable with him, but this was a different story.

That strange fluttering was still a mystery to her. Although not unpleasant she had decided, it was strange nonetheless.

In class as trainees a couple of years ago, they had learnt about the details of the fight or flight response, and she knew the fluttering had to do with a sudden and rapid release of adrenaline, which resulted in blood flow being directed away from the stomach, hence the fluttering.

She had discerned however this response wasn’t elicited because he was a danger. But if not danger, then what?

“Look what you’ve done Hange, Mikasa’s drowning herself now!” Her ears faintly picked up Sasha say from under the water.

Sasha lifted her up frantically crying out to someone for resuscitation, but Mikasa just looked at her, blinking.

“Mikasa! What the hell? You were underwater for 4 minutes! How is that even humanly possible?”

“Oh, I didn’t realize.”

The rest of the bath time was spent on the scouts placing bets on how long Mikasa could hold her breath for, with Mikasa gladly complying, as with her head underwater she didn’t have to speak to anyone.

After a record time of 7 minutes, Hange called it a night, it was probably midnight by now after all, and told everyone to go to their respective cabins.

All wrapped in towels now, the scouts headed their separate ways. Hange, as promised, was accompanying Mikasa to her own cabin, returning the way they had came from.

Now back at the higher cabins after descending the stairs to the bath, Hange led Mikasa upwards in-between the lodges here, and they entered a dense forest once more, following a worn path weaving through it.

They walked enough that the aching slowly creeped back into Mikasa’s muscles. She knew she’d be feeling hell in the morning too.

A chill was settling in the air too from the late of the night, and Mikasa worried about catching a cold, being wet and in just a towel.

“Here we are,” said Hange, leaving this area of forest.

The cottage was bigger up close, situated on the rockiest terrain, the peak of the mountain stretching upwards behind it. Beams were built under it to support its diagonal position on the terrain, with a staircase leading up to what she spot was a front porch. Aside from its peculiar dome-shaped roof, it seemed like a regular cottage.

“What do you think? Not so bad anymore huh,” said Hange.

“It is big. But I’m wondering, why is it so far up from the others?”

“You’ll see why soon enough.” Hange gave her a knowing smile. “Now, shall we go in?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a blast writing that horse ride scene, it's like their medieval equivalent of a motorbike ride HAHA it was so funny to me  
> Let this be a tribute to the end of aot season 3


	4. Feelin' Fine

The scene in front of her was that of a regular cottage. At her right, there was an open kitchen and a living room further on, an exposed staircase in the middle of the entry hallway. To her left there was a wall which probably led to some rooms. Nothing out of the ordinary. 

“Over here,” Hange said, leading her to a set of double doors on the left.

Behind the doors was a huge library, which took up the entirety of the left side of the cottage, the bookcases that lined every inch of the walls rising up to the second floor. 

The peculiar dome of the roof she had seen from outside was due to the incredibly large telescope placed at the library of the cottage. The telescope rose up all the way to the glass dome in the tall ceiling: narrow at the bottom, widening in shape towards the top. 

“I didn’t even know telescopes could be that big,” Mikasa said in amazement. 

“It’s one of a kind that’s why, developed by the Professor herself! An astronomer needs her tools,” said Hange with a smile at Mikasa’s reaction.

“So this cottage is like her study?”

“That’s exactly right, she calls it an observatory. Cool name right? It was built close to the mountain peak to get the best possible view of the stars.”

Truly, the night sky was so clear here, Mikasa could see the stars even through the glass of the dome.

“But for now, let’s go get you patched up.” They walked out of the library towards the staircase. “You can check out the place properly in the morning. I’m sure you’re pretty tired by now.” 

Mikasa really was tired. The entire day’s endeavors now catching up to her, she was ready to drop.

The landing of the second floor had a long hallway, where a wooden railing ran along the length of one side, making it a balcony to the library. 

“This will be your room,” said Hange, walking towards the second door at the end of the hall, after passing what she assumed would be Levi’s room.

Mikasa nodded, if not looking a bit stricken.

It was a simple room: a bed against the wall, nestled under a big window; a vanity, desk, and wooden bathtub.

Hange set to sweep away the piles of sketches and star maps on the desk so Mikasa could sit there. She saw there were many maps and drawings more hung around the walls of her nook.

Mikasa sat on the table, her back to the door, and let her towel drop to her hips. Hange lit the candle at the bedside table and carried it with her to the desk for more light. The candle illuminated the window of the bed, revealing a mirror of the scene. 

Mikasa gasped as Hange massaged the salve into her tender ribcage, gritting her teeth. She watched herself in the candlelight of the window. 

She looked spent, her eyes were droopy from tiredness, and the pain of her ribs was making her head even more woozy. 

A shape appeared at the doorway, an outline her weary eyes barely registered from the mirror of the window. She blinked. Hange froze.

Mikasa locked eyes with Levi in the reflection of the window. There he was, standing with a hand on the doorknob, expressionless. And there she was, sitting on the table, topless. Levi’s mouth dropped open, while somehow maintaining his expressionless face. 

“Uh, do you mind Levi?” Hange said, looking as if she were going to burst from the laugh Mikasa just knew she was holding. 

Levi nodded, looking pale, and retreated out of the doorframe. Hange salvaged Levi’s pack from the pile she had swept off the desk, holding it up. “Looks like he’d already claimed this room. Silly of us not to notice.”

Mikasa sat, stupefied. It was remarkable how much, for lack of a better word, shit had happened this night. Her emotional threshold most definitely did not have the capacity to process all of this. 

“Let’s get you bandaged up now,” Hange laughed nervously.

*****

“Okayy all done, you should get dressed.”

“My pack’s still with the horse I left behind earlier, with Eren probably,” Mikasa suddenly remembered, her voice sounding small.

“I only have my one change of clothes on me, I left my pack with Moblit.” Hange looked at Levi’s pack, and promptly started rifling through it. 

“Here, take this.” Hange tossed her a long sleeve shirt. “I’m sure he won’t mind. I’ll bring you your pack in the morning, so just rest easy in a Levi shirt for now.”

Mikasa stared at the gray long sleeve in her hands, a foreign object.

“Oh and you’ll need these too of course”

A pair of black boxers landed on her lap.

“No way,” Mikasa instantly said, shaken up enough to snap her out of her daze. This had to be where she drew the line. 

“Would you rather sleep with no underwear at all? This place hasn’t been cleaned in quite a while, what if a bug just waltzes into your vagina?”

“Oh my god.” Mikasa seriously started wanting to die at this point. 

“And you can’t worry about them being dirty, this is Levi. He probably has the cleanest junk in the walls too.”

Could Levi hear this conversation? He was just in the next room over wasn’t he? Hange was not helping matters either by making Levi’s boxers do a little dance in the air. She considered making a break for it. Mikasa after a while, now a soulless husk, eventually took them and pulled them on, along with his long sleeve. 

They had a similar build, Mikasa had thought, but his shirt hung loosely on her: shoulders too big and arms too long, hem brushing the tops of her thighs.

“Levi would probably get a nosebleed if he saw you like this, so cute in his clothes.” Mikasa was close to shriveling up. 

“Okay I admit I went too far there I’m sorry, I’m sorry! You want to go to bed?” Hange took her incapacitated self by the elbow and guided her to the bed. The bed looked incredibly inviting to Mikasa at the moment, the covers looking soft and thick. Hange tucked her in, bringing the covers, which felt as soft as they looked, up to her chin.

“Don’t fret Mikasa, just open your heart to life and anything it throws at you. That way, you’ll actually enjoy the experiences you have with the people around you. I for one, think this is funny and great.”

Mikasa mulled over her words, ignoring the last part. Hange was right about opening her heart. She remembered she had decided to live freely, maybe even have a bit of fun. 

It was quite naive for her to think that if she just decided, it would happen. Again she was taking emotional development in the same means as physical improvement. Opening her heart was easier said than done. She still had a long way to go.

Hange bid Mikasa goodnight and left the room, shutting the door behind her. Outside, she could hear Hange saying something to Levi, Levi murmuring a reply. She felt ridiculous, straining to hear what they were saying. She felt like a child, definitely not a woman who owned anything she did.

Rolling over to her side, she let out a deep breath, the exhaustion she felt earlier returning now that her horror had subsided. 

Mikasa rubbed her eyes sleepily, bringing the sleeve to her nose. The long sleeve was surprisingly soft, cozy on her languid body. It smelled like soap sure enough, and curiously, the fresh tang of flower dew. Probably from all the time Levi spent tending the greenhouse. 

The thought made Mikasa smile, which confused her even more. If Mikasa tried to figure out any more of this, she was sure her head was going to explode. This all seemed like wall engineering science to her, and had no idea how to deal with the emotional rollercoaster she had been through this night. So she decided to stick to what she usually did for now, which is to not deal with it at all.

Mikasa pushed down all thoughts of Levi, closed her eyes and fell asleep.

*****

Mikasa stirred the next day, yawning, feeling rested. The second she stretched however, she felt how incredibly sore her legs were. She groaned, and opening her eyes, and was greeted by a breathtaking view.

The scenery from the large bedside window that was too dark to see last night, revealed a rolling pine forest along the mountain range, her bed right by the mountain edge. It felt as if she were up in the sky. 

It looked to be late afternoon, the sky dotted all over with big fluffs of cloud, and Mikasa was surprised she had slept for that long. She usually had a less than average amount of sleep, not particularly restful, often plagued with nightmares. 

Dreamless sleep like this was bliss. Mikasa lay in bed for a while longer, just taking in the views, cuddling with the teddy bear she had just found at the foot of the bed, snug under the covers.

She got out of bed, her muscles complaining, and padded barefoot towards the vanity to freshen up before leaving the room; she was starving.

Mikasa stopped when she got to the stairs. Leaning over the railing, she surveyed the cottage for any sign of Levi. He’d already seen her topless, and she didn’t particularly want him to see her in his shirt and boxers to boot. 

The area seemed clear, so she went downstairs. The panoramic windows all around the cottage interior had a magnificent view of the mountain peak rising up high above. She got to the French doors of the living room, and peeked out to see woodlands at the back of the cottage. A creek streamed through the area, willow trees surrounding the landscape, the setting sun coloring the woodland with a nostalgic feel. 

The air was cool to the point of a chill outside, fresh, Mikasa taking deep breaths as she walked towards the pool of the creek. She saw a clothes line had been hung along the trees nearby, white sheets hanging from it. 

A sheet rustled, and Levi emerged from behind it, wearing an apron and a scarf tied around his nose and mouth; his classic cleaning look. 

“Hi Levi.” Mikasa saw no way around to greeting him now. 

“Mikasa,” Levi said with a note of surprise in his voice, pulling down his scarf. He opened his mouth to say something else, but faltered, his eyes dropping to her look momentarily. 

“Hange gave these to me, said it was fine. I didn’t have anything else to wear.” Mikasa tugged at the hem of her long sleeve, visibly bashful, to her dismay. 

“Yeah, it’s fine.” An awkward air hung between them.

“Did you sleep well? You, uh, woke up late,” Levi said, looking anywhere but at her. Mikasa suddenly felt her face grow hot, knowing the topless incident was the underlying subject of their awkwardness. She just nodded. 

Wanting to get out of the conversation, she made to get inside the pool area of the creek. He could go back to doing laundry or something while she chilled. The water looked about waist deep.

“No don’t!” Levi shouted, but Mikasa was already in the motion of using a hand to swing herself in with both feet. Mikasa gulped in a sharp breath as freezing cold water rushed up all the way to her stomach, numbing her almost instantly.

She lost her balance from the shock of the cold, her foot slipping on a rock, and she fell in completely, her head going under. No sooner had she fallen in that Levi’s hands grabbed her from under her arms, lifting her out of the water. She sat on the grass, shaking.

“That’s fucking cold!” Mikasa yelled, rubbing her arms vigorously to warm up. 

“I tried to warn you!” She looked at him, her eyes wide. To her surprise, Levi let out a short laugh. 

He turned around and went to grab a towel from the clothes line, coughing, which she recognized as him concealing more laughter. Levi knelt down next to her and wrapped her up tight in the big towel, covering her head too.

Mikasa sneezed. Levi smiled, then pulled off his apron and scarf, probably to obscure his face, and sat down.

“Why in the hell was that water so cold?” She asked, her teeth chattering.

“This stream runs straight down from the peak, and the water that collects up there is cold all year round from the permanent snow freezing it. You just dove straight into an ice pond.” He turned his face away from her, hiding a smile again, his amusement apparent.

“Why are you smiling? What a gentleman you are, I fall in to an ice pond and you just laugh at me.” Mikasa pouted as best as she could with her trembling lip, teasing him for the fun of it.

“You’re quite a sight for sore eyes.” The unexpected comment made her break out into a smile.

“Captain Levi. Was that a compliment?” He gave a half-grin, giving him a look that was so boyish she had to laugh. Mikasa was still shivering, although not as much as before.

“Here,” said Levi, sliding closer to her on the grass. He wrapped his arm around her tightly, holding her close, rubbing his hand along her arm. Although Levi was deliciously warm against her, the gesture puzzled her. It’s not like she was freezing to death after all. Casual touch? Perhaps, she decided. This was a new one for Mikasa, but she decided against analyzing it as she would usually. Not like she actually could with him pressed this close against her. 

She leaned into him, laying her head on his chest, and he brought his other arm around her to hold her in an embrace. 

Mikasa’s heart was racing, and she was genuinely scared he could hear it. Levi shifted, his hands trailing across her wrapped up chest and linking there. If they didn’t have the layer of her towel between them, Mikasa didn’t know how she’d fare. From just this, her belly was a melting pot. Her belly felt peculiarly empty too, suddenly remembering she had been hungry. 

Right when Levi rested his chin atop her head, her stomach growled. Levi blew a breath of amusement, pulling away to look at her.

“This is a bad time but I’m really hungry.” Bad time? She cringed inwardly for blatantly pointing out they were having some sort of time together. A moment? She pondered.

“You should get out of those wet clothes first. Take a warm bath too. I’m going for a quick shower then I’ll start fixing us up something in the meantime.” Levi stood up, dusting off his pants.

“Did Hange come by with my pack?” Mikasa stood up along with him.

“No, she hasn’t. Was she meant to?”

“Yeah,” said Mikasa, dismayed at Hange’s forgetfulness. 

“It’s no problem to wear something of mine again.” Levi headed towards the clothes line on the far end of the garden, and pulled off another long sleeve, black sweatpants, and of course, boxers. Mikasa was really going to throttle Hange for making her go through not one, but two of Levi’s boxers.

He handed her the folded pile, which she then took and headed inside.

*****

Mikasa had a soak in the bathtub of her room, pouring hot water over herself from the pitcher. Having toweled off and changed, she headed back downstairs to the kitchen.

A delicious aroma wafted up to meet her as she got closer to the kitchen, where she saw Levi standing over the stove, stirring a pot. He’d changed into a black long sleeve and loose black pants, barefoot, his hair damp being fresh out the shower. 

“That smells incredible. What are you making?” Mikasa asked, taking a seat on one of the stools opposite him at the counter.

“Hey,” said Levi, spooning a small amount of the contents of the pot for her to taste. 

“Curry!” It tasted amazing, seasoned with a good amount of spice.

“And rice too,” Levi grinned.

Night was falling, so Mikasa set to lighting the candles around the kitchen and living room, and soon the place was warmly lit with the soft hues of candlelight. 

“I see you’ve cleaned the entire place,” said Mikasa upon noticing the gleaming surroundings.

“Had to keep busy. Your room is the only place left to clean now, it’s bothering me.”

“Be my guest to come anytime.” Mikasa immediately face-palmed at her brazen phrasing, turning away from Levi so as to not see his reaction, instead going to set plates on the counter. She seemed to be pitifully bad at this, precisely due to the fact that she didn’t even know what this was.

“Hope you’re still hungry.” Finished, Levi ladled curry and rice onto each plate and set them onto the counter.

“Wow,” she said, observing the steam curling up from the food. Taking a seat on the stool, him sitting opposite her at the counter, she flashed Levi a smile before digging in.

He was an incredible cook, something she hadn’t expected from him. The food lifted her very spirits.

“How was my veggie roast the best thing you’ve tasted? You’re a much better cook in comparison,” Mikasa said to him in-between bites.

“Nonsense, that was heaven in a bite. Comforting.” Levi grabbed a bottle of milky sake from the cupboard.

“Same said for this and more, I feel like I’m getting a hug.” Mikasa took the bottle from him and served him the sake.

“Thanks,” he smiled.

Mikasa didn’t know if it was just her, but Levi seemed to have loosened up over these past couple of days. He actually smiled for one, and the steely glint to his eyes seemed to have softened somewhat. Levi seemed to be unwinding, like a spring coiled too tight slowly decompressing.

“Do I have curry on my chin?” Levi said to her, and she realized she had been staring at him.

“No,” she laughed. “I just noticed that you seem different lately. More at ease somehow.”

“That so? True, I have been feeling fine lately. A rest I haven’t known in a long time. I don’t know for what reason but I’m not complaining. Honestly I’ve been exhausted for years.” A shadow crossed Levi’s face.

Mikasa felt for him, he’d had it much rougher than most. A couple of days feeling fine wasn’t going to erase a decade of hardship. She spoke of war that night but he’d been in that hell for much longer than she had. 

Emboldened by these thoughts, Mikasa reached for Levi’s hand, laying her hand atop his. 

He looked up to her, his features softening, and turned his hand to clasp her fingers with his own. Despite how foreign these matters were for Mikasa, the gesture felt totally natural to her. She pulled away however, all too soon, and poured him another cup of sake. 

Though the gesture in itself was simple, it altered the dynamics between them for the rest of the dinner. A certain mood that Mikasa couldn’t quite place her finger on how to describe. Something in the candlelight and sake of the night. 

Her food finished, Mikasa sat back in her seat and gave a satisfied sigh. The sake buzzed through her pleasantly, warming her from the inside.

Levi stood up, probably to clear the dishes, but blinked instead, swaying almost imperceptibly. If Mikasa didn’t know his physique so well she probably wouldn’t have picked up on it.

“You alright?” Mikasa asked. She’d never seen him take one ungraceful step.

“To tell you the truth, sake really fucks me up. It’s like nothing else.” Levi rubbed at his eyes.

Mikasa flashed him a wicked grin. “All the more reason to keep drinking. We’re feeling fine”

“Fuck it.” He grinned, leaving the dishes and taking the bottle towards the living room, Mikasa following closely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this is pretty much my first time writing creatively in length, so far I feel like I've learnt a lot. Like how to actually format dialogue for one idk what I was doing before with it.  
> I started this fic for the shits at first but now I see it's doing me good, I'd never tried to write a story before aside from some joke POV's i did for my friends, so everything I write in this story setting im legit writing for the first time its great.  
> Also, ya'll thought Levi's shirt would be tight on Mikasa. Nono, he's a closeted man beast of muscle


	5. Faded

Mikasa plopped herself down on the couch and set down their cups on the table in front of her. Levi set to stoking the fireplace, and soon the living room was enveloped in the cozy aura of the fire.

“Would you like to play a game?” Asked Mikasa. Levi raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s something we came up with back in our days as trainees. The game’s called: who has colossal titan sized balls?” 

“Tch,” said Levi, shaking his head.

“I know,” laughed Mikasa. “The game’s really messed up now that we know the colossal titan is Bertholdt and they’re his balls.”

“So what’s the objective of the game?” Levi had assumed his serious Captain Face, which Mikasa noted with an increased sense of competition.

“It’s split into three rounds, each with a title to take: stiff rod, thick butt and Connie; In essence a drinking game. Before the game even starts however, each person has to drink one entire cup of the given alcohol.”

“We have to drink an entire cup of sake?” Levi was poking at the fire, his back to her, but she could hear the dismay in his voice.

“To the brim. All in one go too, no sips. Otherwise the rest of the game would be too easy. 

“Stiff rod consists of disassembling and reassembling your ODM gear. If you make a mistake, for example place a part in the wrong place, you drink. The person who finishes last has to drink the penalty, 3 shots.”

“What the hell is a thick butt” 

“Sparring. If you get pinned, you drink. No hitting though, that’s playing dirty. Just wrestling.”

“And I assume Connie is doing something retarded, characteristic of you brats.” Levi plopped himself down on the couch next her.

“Pretty much. It’s a stunt, of any kind, given to the loser of the sparring, in addition to the penalty shots. We can decide ours later. Connie became the title when he took a dump on the window of our Commander. He even smeared his poo into a doodle of a titan with huge boobs.” Mikasa smiled at the memory, realizing the extent of how much she actually loved being around all of them.

“Prepare to take a dump, brat,” said Levi, pouring them their cups to start.

Mikasa downed her cup in moments, trying her physical hardest not to gag, and set it down hard on the table, finding Levi to have finished as well. They faced off, Mikasa impervious to any kind of reaction, Levi of course the same. 

He stood up all too carefully, bringing their gear and resting it on the table, his movements deliberate. Mikasa guessed that he was feeling much more tipsy than he was letting on.

They began disassembling their gears, evenly paced, Mikasa feeling herself already fumbling with the tools. 

Levi made the first mistake, to which Mikasa gladly poured him the shot, smug. He shook his head and took the shot; Mikasa soon after making a mistake herself, to which Levi poured her a shot in the same manner as she did. 

The rest of the round cost Levi three shots, Mikasa only one. He finished before she did however, meaning she took the penalty.

“Ill stick the entire ODM equipment up your asshole,” Mikasa said in-between her shots. Levi burst out laughing.

She was more than a little intoxicated at this point, her limbs sluggish and head woozy, but took a deep breath to prepare herself to spar.

Levi seemed to be in the same state as her from the fact that he was still laughing at the prospect of 3-D gear up his asshole. 

“Prepare yourself.” Mikasa took advantage of Levi off his guard and lunged at him suddenly, knocking the laugh out of him as she tackled him to the floor next to the couch.

He recovered easily, lifting her off him and sitting her down hard on the couch. He shoved the couch forward, making her fall backwards along with the entire couch, Mikasa screaming from the sudden backwards fall.

No sooner did she land that Levi was already on her, pinning her arms on either side of her head. He misjudged the strength he used however being drunk, so Mikasa broke out of the hold, slamming him down in turn.

She too misjudged her force, the momentum causing her to slip and fall against Levi. She didn’t feel Levi move against her, and looking down, saw that she was covering his face with her chest.

She rolled off him quickly, dismayed as to how her chest kept coming into contact with Levi lately, and lay down on the floor next to him.

“Two shots for you and one for me,” she said.

“To tell you the truth, I’m pretty drunk,” said Levi, nudging her side, lying face up. 

“Theres two more rounds of sparring.” She elbowed him back.

“You what. Well if you keep pinning me down like you just did, I am much obliged to continue.” 

The sparring ended a while later, Levi losing and taking the penalty, with countless shots taken between the both of them by now.

Mikasa was wasted. Levi looked gone. 

“Levi”. He lifted his head up from the back of the couch they were sitting on to look at her, a dazed look on his face.

“Connie, Levi.” She was curled up next to him. They’d been resting like this for a long while.

“Sounds nice.”

“What, Connie?”

“No not that. Wait did you say Connie before you said my name? My god Mikasa.” He ran a hand through his hair, tilting his head back again, his neck exposed.

“Tell me something you’d never say sober.” Mikasa felt a curious feeling upon seeing his neck so exposed, prompting her to blurt this out.

“I’m a private man. Things unspoken remain that way, sober or not.” He’d turned his head on the couch to look at her, a deadly serious look on his face.

“You’re so full of shit.” She nudged his side with a hand balled up in her sleeve.

“Well I think many things. I’ll tell you this, most are nothing for a lady to hear.” He played with the fray of her long sleeve absentmindedly.

“What, like your poo dream?” Mikasa laughed, hooking her pinky with his. 

Levi chuckled, “No not like my poo dream, although you’re not far off mentioning dreams.” He engaged her in thumb war. 

“Huh, dreams?” 

“I had a dream about you. A month ago I think.”

“Really, what happened in the dream?” Mikasa swung her legs across Levi’s lap, curling up against the side of the couch close to him. He rested his arms on her legs.

“Well, uh.” Levi looked at her strangely. Mikasa raised an eyebrow.

“Ha?” Was what came out.

“How can I even tell you this.” Levi put a hand on his face, turning away from her. Was he..embarrassed? Mikasa wondered, bewildered.

“You have to tell me now.” Mikasa pulled his hand down from his face. Levi really did look bashful. Mikasa was scared. She didn’t think that facial expression was even possible for Levi, let alone how to react to it.

“I really dug myself into a hole huh.”

“Story time!” She grinned, instantly forgetting his terrifyingly shy look. He glared at her, sighing before speaking.

“It was a while after we fought the female titan, when my leg was still broken and I was out of commission. I’d been drinking at an inn, which is probably why I even managed to sleep that night. In the dream, I was in the medical ward at HQ, freshly injured. The one who was assigned to take care of me was none other than you.”

“I was your nurse!” Mikasa found this to be the best thing she’d ever heard, looking at Levi in awe.

“Yeah, you were, although in the dream you were nowhere near as happy at the prospect as you are now.”

“Grumpy nurse,” she giggled. 

“More gloomy nurse, we bitched everyday. I’d threaten to excommunicate you for insubordination, and you’d tell me exactly where I could excommunicate you.” Curled up against Levi, Mikasa was enjoying the story immensely. 

“But as the days went by in the dreamscape, we warmed up to each other. We had, uh. Fun.” Levi stopped.

“And?”

“And the end.”

“You what.”

“Yeah.” Mikasa grabbed Levi’s neck in a mock strangle. It was commendable how he managed to still keep a hold on his words despite being this drunk.

“You sure you wanna hear it?” She gave him a pointed look.

“I can’t believe I’m telling you this.” He put a hand over his eyes. “We had sex.”

She stared at him, later realizing her mouth was agape. 

“That really is something you’d never tell me sober.” Mikasa suddenly became hyperaware of how close she was to Levi, the shock sobering her up somewhat.

“I’m sorry,” said Levi, looking bashful. At that moment, it struck Mikasa that Levi was probably just as inexperienced as she was in _this_. She wondered how she hadn’t thought of that before. It occurred to her that Levi was letting it show only now because of his lowered inhibitions. 

“What did you do?” She blurted out the first thing that came to her head in an attempt to clear the air.

Levi looked at her, at a loss for words. Mikasa then realized the nature of her question.

“Oh, you uh, don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.” 

“Your turn,” Levi suddenly said, turning the tables on her. Not a surprise, even drunk Levi had a definitive limit.

“Well. Alright Captain, fair is fair,” she said. She thought hard on something she‘d never tell him sober, but nothing seemed to come to mind. She didn’t tend to think too deeply into things, finding it to be exhausting, and she definitely didn’t have such interesting dreams, at least not ones that weren’t nightmares.

“You know, I’m not as talkative as you, I prefer action over words,” Mikasa said.

“How about this then, what is something you would never do sober?” They were sitting on opposite ends of the couch now, their legs towards the other and intertwined. An action immediately came to her mind. Mikasa covered her face with both her hands at the thought. Levi laughed at this.

“What are you thinking of?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” She peeked at him through her fingers, ascertaining the situation. Could she do it? She wondered if she was drunk enough to have the courage.

“You know, what I would like is to be my horse, fat bastard. Just nibbling on berries at the bush not knowing a damn thing about a titan or a tit or whatever the fuck they are at this point, and being able to just shit while I’m walking because I’m a horse and anyways I would be fertilizing the ground with my nutritious-“ Mikasa cut off Levi’s rambling by standing up on the couch, leaving her looming over him. She had decided, she was going to do it.

“What are you doing?” Levi asked, looking up to her.

“Something I really never would do sober.” Mikasa made as if she were going to dive into water, aiming her arms over her head, and smoothly leapt forward. Levi yelped but understood what he had to do, raising his legs to balance her on the belly, catching her hands with his.

“We are the perfect formation,” Mikasa grinned down to him.

“What the hell is wrong with you,” laughed Levi, “I’m not allowing you to drink again cadet. I never would’ve guessed this is something you would want to do, sober or not.”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.” 

“I know you are, and always will be, a brat. With shit for brains too apparently.” He swung her sideways slightly, almost pitching her over.

“I’m serious,” she said as she scrambled to regain her balance. Levi set her down on the couch, him sitting up as well, placing them close and facing each other.

“Alright Mikasa. Tell me something about your lovely and not at all brat self.” Levi was leaning his head on his knee, looking at her askew. His bangs were tousled across his face, cheeks flushed from the sake.

Mikasa had been feeling strange for a while now, and now the feeling seemed to be intensified upon facing Levi like this; a sort of quickening.

Mikasa didn’t understand much about emotions, but there was one thing she knew even better than the features of her own face: instinct. It was such instinct that led her to move, without really knowing what she was doing, towards Levi.

She brushed his bangs away, lightly held the side of his face. He leaned into her hand, in turn reaching out for her. He skimmed his thumb over the scar on her cheek, pulling her towards him. Foreheads touching now, Mikasa’s heart was racing a mile a minute, she was sure he could hear it.

“Mikasa, I..” Levi’s voice was rough. He began to pull away. She caught him, keeping them together.

“I want to,” she spoke without thinking, looking up to him, her voice surprising her with its clarity.

He cradled the back of her head, her locks of hair spilling through his fingers as they pleasantly swept over her scalp, sending shivers down her spine. Levi bent his head over, brushing his lips over her neck, Mikasa gasping from the sudden sensation.

He continued his trail upwards until finally stopping before her lips. There was a look of a question in his eyes, something raw as he searched her face. Words unspoken between them, a magnetic pull.

Amidst this, Mikasa found she didn’t want a space to exist between them anymore. Leaning in, she kissed him, lips molded for the shape of the other.

Then they were making out; nasty, slow making out, desire as dark as the night. There was no hurry, just languor, a rarity of an indulgence to her.

Levi took her under one knee, pulling her leg over him to place her straddling his lap. He parted her lips with his tongue softly, changing his angle, deepening the kiss.

He slid his hands up her waist as he pulled her closer. She wrapped her own arms around him, melting into him. 

Levi’s hands roamed freely around her body, grabbing her ass, sliding up her front towards her breasts. She arched towards him as he gripped her breast, a small moan escaping her.

Levi groaned and pulled away, fingers tugging at the hem of her shirt. Mikasa pulled back momentarily to assist in taking it off her. Her bandages were wrapped across her chest still, which Levi somewhat tentatively reached out to undo. She undid them herself, the wraps falling away, exposing her along with the purpling bruising on her sides.

“Nasty huh,” said Mikasa, feeling somewhat self conscious of looking this way in front of Levi. It wasn’t exactly the average form of a woman.

“They’re a part of you, as much as your arm is attached to you.” He began a long trail with his hand from her navel, sliding upwards with a surprising gentleness to cup her breast, fingers rubbing over and massaging her nipple, which he complemented by lavishing his mouth over.

“I guess I resent exactly that, what they’re representing in being bound to me,” she gasped, arching against him, grinding her hips forward on his lap, drawing a gasp from Levi.

“God do I feel the same, like a prisoner to my own skin.” Levi sat back, hands going up to his head as Mikasa continued rocking against him.

Despite the heat of the moment, Mikasa was taken aback by his comment. It was the first time he’d mentioned something so.. personal.

She noted curiously the emotions this elicited within her, letting instinct take over once more to put into action feelings unnamed. She dragged her hips forward on him, hard, putting a hand on his chest to balance herself, picking up her pace.

“ _Fuck_ ,” breathed Levi, his chest rising and falling against her hand. She could feel the hard beat of his heart. Mikasa slowly slid the hand on his chest downwards, over his hard stomach, fingers trailing on the bare strip of skin at the waist of his sweatpants. A courage no doubt provided to her by alcohol, she slipped her hand underneath, rubbing over his erection. 

Levi caught at her hand suddenly, pulling her back.

“Mikasa wait.” He sounded breathless. “We’re way too drunk to be doing this.”

“Huh?” She said as breathlessly, stupefied.

“Let me rephrase, I won’t do this.” He picked her up off his lap and stood up. “Goodnight,” he said curtly.

Levi walked out of the living room and went upstairs, not looking at her once, leaving her topless and stunned.

_What?_

If Mikasa thought she was confused before, she didn’t know the meaning of the word. She slumped over sideways on the couch and stared at the fireplace. Being this turned on didn’t help matters either.

“What was that all about..?” She thought out loud, wrapping her arms over herself.

After a long while of gazing at the fire, mind empty, her eyelids grew heavy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I hear you say blue lady balls?  
> I didn't even realize it had been a month since I last updated, to tell you the truth their make out scene was looming over me haha I was scared to write it. At least I cleared that hurdle now, so you'll probably be seeing more heat from me. 
> 
> I should note that no normal person could ever drink that much, but I figured Ackermans could probably handle that 
> 
> Ackerintimacyfreakout to come, should be a good challenge to write too, g2g (got 2 grow) - Mona


	6. Descend

Surely enough, the days continued to pass; the moon rose and set, and Mikasa kept incessantly existing. The longer she stayed under the gaze of the mountains, the further away the rest of her life felt. There were times of such peace, that she was almost able to forget the terrible war that had been raging around them, feeling wholly with her heart the beauty of the flowing river or the pooling lake.

Over a week had passed since the night she and Levi shared together, and not much had changed since he’d pushed her away. They remained estranged still, but there really wasn’t much she could do about it. Even though Mikasa was hurt and confused at first, unable to understand the reason behind his actions, she eventually accepted she wasn’t going to get anywhere wracking her head over and over trying to figure it out. She was also ready to accept the possibility Levi just might not see her that way, and resolved to simply keep her distance.

Mikasa was sitting against the grass of the sloping mountainside, a spot she’d discovered by following a narrow worn pathway, which led her to a natural sitting area amongst soft patches of grass encircled by rocks.

Mikasa had been coming to this spot often as of late, seeking the solace of the lonely mountainside. The face of the mountains pained her with its familiarity, a cruel reminder of the free life she used to live with her family. The scenery around her was exactly as she remembered it to be, it never changed one bit, it was only her that could no longer coexist with it.

It was still soothing that such a monument of permanence existed in this world, and helped her feel stable as if it were her anchor.

“Mikasa!” She heard a yell and focused in the distance to see Hange waving at her. Mikasa roused herself out of her reverie and walked over to meet her.

“Armin said you might be around here, I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Amazing view, I can see why you like this place.”

“Hi Hange, what do you need me for?”

“The Professor said she’s going to need a mineral to make a sort of serum for Eren that may trigger his hardening ability, we’re really running out of options at this point.” 

“Understood. What are the details of the mission?” Mikasa switched back into her soldier self, ironically almost with relief at the prospect of being given a mission again. If anything had become clear to her this past month, is that autonomy was a lot harder to handle than she thought.

“I see you’re already geared up, good. Walk with me, I gotta go grab a couple of things from my cabin first. I’ll brief everyone once we group up at the place.” They walked back to the mountain lodge.

Hange started to fidget as they neared her cabin. “Ah wait for me out here! No need for you to come inside! I’ll only take a minute.”

Mikasa frowned as Hange laughed nervously and practically bolted inside. Now that Mikasa’s suspicion was piqued, she noted that Hange’s cabin was quite large, larger than most of the other cabins around it. A thought struck her and she had to go investigate.

She surveyed Hange’s cabin, hearing Hange crash and fumble in of the rooms. Mikasa was dumbstruck. She stared at one of the empty bedrooms. The two empty bedrooms.

When Hange ran out of her room, Mikasa was livid.

“You had not one, but two extra bedrooms in your cabin this whole time?!”

“Mikasa! I, uh, I can explain, well-“ Mikasa cut her off.

“Why did you tell me there was no space and that I had to share a cabin with Levi! What the hell Hange!” Mikasa was practically steaming. Hange looked at her apologetically.

“I hoped you wouldn’t have to find out about my extra rooms. To be honest, I thought it would be good for the both of you.” Mikasa simply stared at her in disbelief.

“We aren’t your personal science experiment to poke around! You want to know if it was good for us? We haven’t spoken to each other in over a week. Things between us are a mess.” Mikasa was doing fine trying not to think about it and definitely not talking about it, but admitting it out loud dispelled the illusion of her denial, and the hurt was fresh anew.

“If you want to know something about Levi, he does tend to run away once he gets too close for comfort. But when he cares about someone, he never really strays too far. I think you underestimate the impact you have on him.”

Mikasa stood in a daze, not having the slightest idea what to make of this.

“Don’t worry about it too much for now, after all, we have a mission.” Hange flashed her a reassuring smile and led her out of the cabin.

*****

The scouts were gathered on a bluff in the cliffside of the mountain. Hange, who she assumed was Professor Thea, and Levi stood facing the group. They were low enough now that the creek in the back garden of Levi and Mikasa’s cabin streamed into a full river, cascading over the face of the cliff. The waterfall was dizzyingly high, and plummeted down to a small lake at the bottom of the cliff.

“Hey Mikasa.” Armin nudged her, his glimmering with a wide smile. “Notice anything in particular about the Professor?”

Mikasa looked at the Professor closely, trying to see what Armin meant, and almost reeled back in shock.

The Professor was an Oriental, just like Mikasa.

She couldn’t believe her eyes, she thought she was the last Oriental in the walls. Levi looked unsettled standing next to her, and Mikasa noted with humor how he kept glancing at Thea from his peripheral.

Thea’s eyes met Mikasa’s and her face lit up with recognition, giving Mikasa a friendly wave. Her look puzzled Mikasa. Sure they were both Oriental, but it seemed almost as if she already knew who Mikasa was.

“Listen up everyone! You see the pool at the bottom of the cliff?” Hange pointed downwards, to which most of the scouts peered over the edge of the bluff to take a look.

“Behind the base of the waterfall, there is an entrance to a network of caves within the mountain. Our mission is to find and retrieve a mineral known as the tide stone, which Professor Thea believes could greatly help triggering Eren’s hardening. Got it?”

Armin raised his hand. “What does the tide stone look like?”

It was the Professor who spoke this time. “I’m glad you asked, no one knows! The jewel is practically completely shrouded in myth!” Thea and Hange exchanged an excited grin, while the scouts exchanged uneasy looks amongst themselves.

“But worry not, I’ll tell you everything I know. I believe with relative certainty that you will definitely know it when you see it. Ha! I should also tell you of something else. The reason why I came to believe the jewel was real is because of one night when I was down by the pool of the waterfall, I heard a most frightening shriek coming from within the waterfall! It was certainly no human noise either, I was really scared! Meaning I naturally went to take a look inside the cave.” Thea laughed heartily at this, and of course Hange as well.

“Like two peas in a pod,” grumbled Levi next to them.

“Inside, the cave was full of this strange lichen, certainly not native to the walls. The locals I asked said there was something weird about the cave, and they insisted a cyclops lived there guarding its treasure, that they occasionally hear its shrieks on nights of a full moon. I can confirm this; on the night I heard it, it was the full moon. I read this ancient tome that claimed tides and the moon are linked, in reference to what they called ‘the ocean’. I assume a ‘tide’ is a reference to water, and somehow the moon affects this water. Supposing this ocean exists, I came to suspect that it might just be the tide stone in that cave. The human body is 70% water after all, so it might be worth a shot in trying to trigger Eren’s hardening. Also I have literally no other ideas. Tonight is a new moon, which is why I thought it best if you all went tonight. It’s also best to wait until nightfall, I believe you’ll be more likely to find it then.”

The sun had begun to set by now, and the scouts began to ready themselves for the climb down. Hange crouched at the edge of the bluff and looked as if she were considering something.

“Say Thea, is the pool deep enough for a plunge at this height?” Asked Hange with a manic grin on her face.

“Most likely. Although the river is quite shallow, it flows fast enough for the pool to be deepened quicker than usual. In theory.”

“Perfect! Levi!” Hange hopped over to Levi, who was staring off into the sunset with a sullen look on his face. “I wanna see your magnificent diving again! Jump off the cliff!”

“Are you insane woman? I’m not doing that.”

“Aww c’mon, Thea said it was deep enough!”

“Yeah theoretically. ‘Most likely’ isn’t definitely.”

“Levi can do the most amazing diving! He soars and pivots midair like an angel. Don’t you wanna see him do it?” Hange baited the scouts, to which they all started cheering.

“Mikasa you gotta dive as well, I haven’t seen you do it in years!” Eren joined in to her dismay.

Soon all of the scouts were clamoring for Levi and Mikasa to dive.

“Alright! Fucking hell you brats can annoy me into doing anything, just shut the hell up.” Levi stripped off his gear and stalked past them, wading into the river. Levi looked at Mikasa over his shoulder. “You coming or not?”

Annoyed, Mikasa begrudgingly unbuckled her gear and took off her jacket, wading into the river after him.

They stepped onto the outcropping rocks teetering over the edge of the waterfall. The ground stretched impossibly far down, and Mikasa gulped at the sheer height. The water rushed around her. The roar of the waterfall filled her ears, coupled with the buzz of adrenaline. She knew Levi had also realized his quick temper had just screwed them over.

“Fuck, this is crazy. We don’t even know if that pool is deep enough, we could end up a damn rice millet.” The wind blew across the plains, making a whistling noise at the drop. They couldn’t back down now.

“Sometimes we just have to take a leap into the uncertain.” Mikasa hoped the cheering of the scouts and the rush of the waterfall would drown out her voice, but to no avail, she saw Levi’s jaw tighten from her peripheral.

The embers of the sun dipped into the horizon now, bathing the world in hues of deep lavender. Mikasa readied herself for the leap, everything fading into the background save for this one moment. She looked at Levi, who she found already looking at her. Mikasa felt the feeling she’d so deliberately pushed down stir anew in being like this, making her wonder why she ever chose not to feel in the first place.

“I hope you know you have to land feet first.” Levi said, a little breathless from being moments away from the jump. In a prideful show, Mikasa spun around and stood with her back facing the drop, giving him a pointed look. Levi gaped at her, then laughed.

“I knew it. You aren’t actually human.” Shaking his head, Levi turned his back to the drop along with her. His shoulders were set and head held level, no longer sullen as he was before.

The scouts, realizing they were about to leap backwards, all went silent, gaping at them. Mikasa was now seriously regretting her pride.

“Unto the rising sun,” Levi quietly said in the ensuing silence, almost like a prayer.

With a deep breath, Mikasa leapt, momentarily weightless, with the breath leaving her as she plummeted downwards. The wind whistling past her ears, the horizon flipped upside down, she now saw what Levi meant about the rising sun.

More than halfway down by now, Mikasa instinctively pivoted around and tucked in her legs to rotate until she was facing the horizon again right side up. She glanced at Levi against the force of the winds and saw he had done the same. Mikasa couldn’t help herself, she smiled at him from the pure exhilaration, the pool rushing up to meet them. Before she could see his reaction, Mikasa sucked in a sharp breath and plunged into the pool, sinking impossibly deep.

She immediately swam upwards towards the surface, the water see through to the lilac skies.

Mikasa and Levi broke through at the same time, gasping for breath. To her surprise, Levi was grinning, a wild look in his eyes.

At a loss, Mikasa craned her head up instead to see the distance she had just jumped and saw the scouts safely making their way down the cliff, waving at her and Levi.

She promptly swam to the edge and climbed out of the pool, trying to wring off the water drenching her.

Levi climbed out and sat on the grass some lengths away, stretching back, not bothering to dry off. Although Levi was far, he was still close enough for the pressure of conversation, and for the lingering awkwardness that came from the lack of.

Mikasa had no idea what to say to Levi. They had gone from studiously avoiding each other for a whole week to diving off a cliff together, where do you even go from there?

“We’re not dead.” Mikasa found herself saying to Levi, who looked strangely relieved after she spoke.

“Astute observation.” They fell back into silence.

She could just see Levi deliberating from her peripheral, opening his mouth to say something, then closing it again as if he thought better of it. She almost laughed at how uncomfortable he looked.

Mikasa decided to just leave him like that; the silence didn’t particularly bother her, and she’d end up like Levi if she tried to think of anything to say, being just as socially inept as he was.

*

Night had fallen by the time the scouts made it down to the pool and they approached Levi and Mikasa with praise.

“You two were in perfect synchrony!”

“Seriously even your flips midair were mirrored!”

“You hit the pool at the same time too! We couldn’t even tell whose dive was better!”

Mikasa was overwhelmed with the barrage of praise. She couldn’t deny it felt a little nice, after being out of commission for so long because of her injury. But Mikasa felt as if all she would be recognized for were her physical abilities, and that was all she could do for them, all she was good for. And hearing this sort of praise again saddened her more than anything.

She saw Levi had lost the lively look he had, and was progressively reverting back to his sullen mood as the scouts kept up their praise. Mikasa found herself wishing it was just the two of them alone taking the jump.

“Alright, calm it down all of you.” Hange emerged and gave Levi a friendly punch on his shoulder. “Don’t let it get to your head huh.”

“Tch.” He walked away from Hange and stood facing the group.

“Listen up! The caves might be more than what we bargain for so I think its best if we split up into teams of two. I doubt there’ll be much room for maneuvering with more than that in tunnels. Eren and Jean, pair up.” Both Eren and Jean immediately exploded at being paired together.

“What are you twelve? Shut the fuck up. Armin with Historia, Sasha with Hange. Ackerman, on me.” Mikasa got stupidly irritated at the fact he said everyone’s name save for hers. And why would he pair them together anyways?

“Uh sir?” Asked Connie. “What about me?”

“You stay out here and keep watch. And light some torches too.” Connie looked conflicted at this, but eventually settled on a satisfied smile.

The scouts slipped into the pool and swam towards the waterfall, ducking underneath to find a gaping hole in the cliff face. The cave was indeed filled with the strange lichen the Professor had described, it glowed a hue of greenish blue. The glow was bright enough to see by without torchlight, and it illuminated what looked like multiple square doorways at the back of the cave. Mikasa noticed that despite the rush of the waterfall at the entrance, the cave was completely silent. She leaned close to the waterfall, but she still couldn’t hear anything. The silence was as eerie as it was inexplicable.

“This is amazing!” Said Hange. “Those are perfectly square doorways carved into the stone! That certainly isn’t natural. But who could be capable of such precision?”

“Well its nothing more than an annoying obstacle to me.” Said Levi, walking closer to inspect each of the doorways. “It seems freakishly coincidental that there’s four doorways and four pairs of us. I don’t like this at all.”

Mikasa was feeling uneasy at how alien the cave was, but it struck her as unlike Levi to openly admit his own unease.

“What’s there to be scared of? Ooo, mossy cave with doors! I may shit my pants.” Scoffed Jean. 

“Why do you bother speaking ever?” Said Eren, inciting another argument between them involving lots of pant shitting.

“Sasha! Come touch this lichen, it’s so squishy!” Hange was grabbing whole clumps of lichen and squeezing it while shoving some more into her pack. She smeared the glowing substance from it on her face and started miming a titan, groaning and trailing towards Sasha in attack.

“Enough!” Levi’s voice boomed, startling all of them into stillness. Even Sasha and Hange stopped mid wrestle on the floor. “I want to be in and out of those tunnels as fast as humanly possible. Get your shit together and get a move on. Each pair takes a doorway. Keep all your wits about you, there’s no telling what can happen underground.”

The atmosphere settled into ice. It had been almost too long since they had to be soldiers, their dormant period and the lazy days in the cabins had made them all, including Mikasa, complacent. No one was talking now, their faces grim. The break had made it possible to distance themselves from it all, but it was all too easy to remember.

Mikasa sneezed. Everyone looked at her curiously. For the first time she noticed bits of glowing particles floating all around the air of the cave. She assumed it came from the lichen.

“Must be the dust.” Said Mikasa. Levi looked unsettled as he took notice of the air.

Hange’s torch was suddenly extinguished. The flame was simply snuffed out, with no smoke trail left behind. Sasha, Armin and Historia’s torches all were snuffed out moments after Hange’s.

“What in the world?” Said Hange. She swabbed her finger across the surface of the torch. Her finger came away glowing green. “It’s the dust! It’s somehow collected on the torches impossibly fast. It’s actually more like ash looking closer. Microparticles of it.”

Levi tentatively held out his still flaming torch close to a big patch of lichen. The flame was snuffed out as soon as it was about to touch the lichen. They all gasped. Their remaining torches were all extinguished soon after, leaving them with the glowing light as their illumination.

“What the fuck? I don’t think this stuff can even be burnt.” Levi attempted to relight his torch, but the embers were dead. He scowled and tossed it to the ground. “Let’s move on. I like this glow dust even less than the tunnels.”

No one questioned Levi’s unease now. They each stood at the doorways in their pairs. Mikasa stared into the seemingly endless tunnel stretching within the doorway. From next to her, Levi looked back at the waterfall where the exit was almost longingly, then turned away to stare into the tunnel. If Mikasa didn’t know any better, she’d say the look on Levi’s face was nothing other than dread. But Levi had never looked that way before, Mikasa simply assumed she was misinterpreting it.

“See you on the other side. Assuming there is one.” Mikasa hoped Levi was talking about the other side of the tunnels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I quit this story after the summer ended for a long time bc I moved to university! It was the flippin weirdest time ever at the beginning but I was just living my life so I stopped writing for a while. But I'm back now n I don't remember where I was going with this story originally so I thought fuck it lemme take it in an entirely new direction. I hope you all like it n there's probably going to be more to come. I gotta add that the angel dive was inspired by tomb raider anniversary. If you press X then quickly press O, Lara does an angel dive. This applies to every tomb raider game ever they even kept it in the newest ones as a tribute even though the remakes of tomb raider games are garbage so try it in the original ones.


	7. A Moon Shaped Pool

It seemed as if Mikasa and Levi had been walking for hours. The tunnel just endlessly stretched ahead, never turning, rising upwards or sloping downwards. There was barely enough light to see by, save for the ever-present lichen illuminating their passage through the depths. The temperature was continually dropping the further they walked until she was shivering from the chill.

Mikasa was very aware of how loud her breathing carried through the tunnel, it was all too loud. It didn’t help that Levi had withdrawn back into himself, he kept walking onwards ahead of her without a word. He seemed really tense, his shoulders were taught and he was clenching and unclenching his fists repeatedly.

Mikasa suddenly remembered what Hange had told her ages ago when she was drunk. Something about Levi having a fear of being underground? In hindsight, it seemed to be important, Hange had begged her the next day never to mention it to him, but Mikasa hadn’t made too much of it. Back then she’d barely given Levi a second thought, and she didn’t quite believe he had any emotions at all, especially fear.

“Captain?” Mikasa might as well have tugged on Levi’s sleeve with how tentative she sounded.

“Yeah, still here, as shitty as that is.” Levi glanced at her over his shoulder, and she saw sweat glistening on his forehead despite the chill.

“Are you okay?” She asked. Levi looked at her, stupefied.

“Did my arm just fall off or something? I don’t think you’ve ever asked me that before.”

“Asked if you were okay? That can’t be…” Mikasa was mortified. She clammed up and slowed her step, trying to put a little more distance between them in the narrow tunnel.

 _Wow, I’m a massive bitch,_ Mikasa thought to herself. She hugged herself, shivering even more now, she didn’t seem to be able to warm up.

She heard a muffled sound from far away, as if she was underwater. Mikasa realized it was Levi laughing.

“…Wouldn’t quite use the same word for you. Brat is more fitting. Maybe maggot, if I’m feeling particularly vicious, they’re disgusting.”

“Huh? Did I say that out loud?” She frowned and rubbed her eyes, which were feeling weirdly hot for how cold she was.

“You subject me to whatever goes through that terrifying mind of yours at the most random times.” Levi continued muttering under his breath.

She figured Levi was under some sort of duress, given how much he was babbling to her in this dank tunnel, but Mikasa was feeling dizzier by the second, and her vision was wavering. She really did only think aloud when she wasn’t sober, but that couldn’t be the case now.

Yet, Mikasa felt very strange, it was like all of her being was being blurred into the walls of the stone, her thoughts bending and pulling in her head like water.

Mikasa continued trudging onwards when she tripped and fell forwards against Levi. Except she fell forwards against a patch of lichen on the wall.

 _Where’s Levi?_ Mikasa looked around in dismay to see he was nowhere to be found. _Didn’t we just have an entire conversation?_

The air was becoming heavier in Mikasa’s lungs, and she moved around to dispel the pressure that threatened to immobilize her. Mikasa started to become aware of the fact that something was happening to her.

She blinked through her daze, trying to make sense of her surrounding through wavy vision, but Levi was surely gone. There was no way he could’ve gone anywhere without her seeing it, the tunnel looked no different to how it was before; as never-ending, as void.

“Captain?” Mikasa called out into the darkness. Her voice echoed into the depths. “Captain!” There was no reply. Fear clawed at Mikasa’s heart. Her chest was burning.

Mikasa sank to her knees, her head spinning. “I’m alone. Alone.” What if something had happened to Levi? He’d pushed her away and she let him go. Mikasa regretted not trying to reach out to him. _I should’ve tried_. Now he really was gone.

 _What do I do? Keep going? Turn back? Try to find him? How would I find him?_ Uncertainty swirled around in Mikasa’s head almost palpably.

“Where are you! Captain!” She shouted into the tunnel, and stood up once more. She wasn’t going to lose him like this. A spark of determination bloomed amidst her fear and uncertainty. Mikasa found it strange how heightened and almost tangible her emotions were, but she had bigger things to worry about at the moment. _Levi,_ she shook her head to clear her warring thoughts, and focused her mind on him.

“Where the hell have you been Ackerman?” Levi appeared right as she was about to start tearing through the tunnel to find him. Mikasa whirled around and found herself facing him. She stared at him in disbelief.

“Where have I been? Where have you been! You scared the shit out of me! You just disappeared!”

“I should be saying that! I thought you were right behind me and turn around to see you gone.” Levi and Mikasa looked at each other in alarm. No matter how she looked at it, there was no way they could’ve been separated. The tunnel was just a straight never-ending path. No turns of any sort. Despite the oddity, Mikasa sighed in relief at having found him again, but she wasn’t about to admit it to him.

“Is something… happening?” Mikasa gestured towards the obvious predicament of the tunnel that hadn’t changed in the slightest since they entered it.

“I don’t know about you, but I can barely see straight. My vision’s all wavy, and my head feels damn heavy. I think the better question is if something’s happening to _us_.” Mikasa wasn’t surprised to hear Levi was feeling the way she was for some reason.

“Should we keep going Captain? Or do we turn back?” Her voice sounded distorted to her own ears.

“I don’t think we have much of a choice. Don’t ask me why, but for some reason I know that turning back isn’t possible. It’s not the way to get out of here.” Levi confirmed the sneaking suspicion Mikasa had ever since they entered the tunnel.

“Let’s just keep going forwards. There has to be an end to this.” Levi started walking fast, picking up his step until he was almost running.

*

An immeasurable while later, they had made no progress whatsoever. It was still the same path.

“Ok let’s just stop for a second.” Levi suddenly drew back his leg and kicked the wall of the tunnel with impressive force. Not a single pebble trickled out of place.

Mikasa slid down against the wall and dejectedly sat down. Her head was swimming but despite how far they’d walked, weirdly enough her feet didn’t hurt at all. Levi was now doing full taekwondo against the wall of the tunnel, grunting and yelling in frustration, roundhouse kicking it over and over.

Levi eventually collapsed next to her, his head falling back against the wall he hadn’t made a single dent in.

“Either I’ve suddenly lost all my strength overnight, or somehow this wall is indestructible. There’s no way out of here.”

The realization seemed to dawn on him with new significance, because Levi’s breathing suddenly started speeding up. He desperately pulled at his cravat to loosen it.

“Captain?” He was close to hyperventilating now, and was folding in on himself, gasping.

“Levi!” Mikasa grabbed him by the shoulders and sat him up. His forehead was drenched in sweat. She felt the back of his neck and found he was sweating there too. His eyes were darting everywhere, unfocused.

“Holy hell, stay with me! Levi! Do you hear me?” She grabbed his face and turned him to face her. “Look at me. It’s alright Levi.”

Mikasa kept talking to him in soothing tones, saying his name over and over again, trying to calm him down. She desperately racked her brain, trying to remember her training in what she should do in situations like this. Thankfully, Hange’s countless lectures turned out to be useful after all.

“Breathe Levi!” Mikasa started hyperventilating along with him, remembering Hange’s lesson that if someone is having a panic attack, matching their quick pace of breathing will help to bring theirs down.

She gradually slowed her own breathing, and thankfully, Levi’s breathing slowed down alongside hers. Mikasa was going to kiss Hange if she ever got out of this tunnel.

Levi’s eyes finally focused on hers. He leaned into her hand which was still holding his face. Mikasa sighed in relief.After a moment, she picked up Levi’s discarded cravat.

She gently started wiping the sweat off his face and neck with the cravat. “Fear of being underground huh.” Levi stayed quiet.

“I never did like this rag anyways. At least its finally proven to be useful.”

“Mikasa I-“ Levi’s voice broke.

“Shh, don’t try to speak. Just breathe.”

He reached up to pull her hand down, away from his face. “Why would you do this for me?”

Mikasa was incredulous. “As opposed to what? Just leaving you like that? Why would you think I’d do that?” Despite herself, she felt her hurt with Levi flare up anew.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is.. Thank you. For being here like this I mean. Even though I don’t really get… I mean I’ve been treating you like crap.” As if realizing himself, he cleared his throat and let go of her hand. She regarded him for a moment. With his hair plastered to his forehead and face pale, and his eyes that held nothing but confusion and uncertainty.

“You’re so clueless Levi.” Mikasa pulled Levi into a hug. “Don’t ever do that again.” He gripped her tightly in return.

They stayed in an embrace for quite a while, but eventually Levi spoke into her hair. “We should get moving.”

Levi kept his grip on her, not moving an inch. Mikasa couldn’t help a smile. “You say that as if you’re letting go.”

Levi cleared his throat and pulled away, lowering his gaze. That was as closest to bashful she’s seen Levi look, making her smile widen.

“Now, let’s quit this place.” Mikasa realized she was feeling somewhat normal again, her wavy vision and swimming head were gone. In turn, she felt an odd sense of clarity.

“Yeah, I don’t know why but I feel like we’re done here too,” said Levi as they stood up.

Mikasa turned around and immediately came to face with the exit of the tunnel. Mikasa wasn’t surprised in the least.

*

She walked out of the tunnel as if it were natural, into a small cavern with a pool in it.

Though there was no light source anywhere, the pool cast deep blue light all over the ceiling of the cavern, wavering brightly with the ripples of the water. The floor of the cavern was as smooth as slate, with no ridges or cracks anywhere. The ceiling of the cavern was smattered with specks of luminescence, a likening to the stars in a night sky. At the center of the ceiling were drawings of twin half moons that felt strikingly realistic.

Levi walked to stand beside her at the edge of the pool. The ripples of water played reflections of light across his face. He was beautiful.

He took her face in his hands and angled it in different directions, studying her. “Mikasa, your pupils are huge.”

Levi’s pupils were also dilated so big, only a thin strip of gray iris showed. “Yours are too. Can’t you see?”

They knelt down in front of the water, leaning forward to look into their reflection on the surface. Mikasa saw projections of herself and Levi wearing white robes, but their faces were absent in their reflection. Mikasa raised her arm, but her faceless reflection stayed still. The reflection was somehow immobile, not even wavering along with the movement of the water.

On instinct, Mikasa reached into the water and felt her fingers brush real fabric. She gasped and drew her hand back. Levi reached out and took her hand in his, and she felt an odd surge of strength fill her.

“The opposite half-moons on the ceiling,” said Levi. Mikasa had felt their gaze ever since entering the cavern. “I’m not sure exactly what they mean, but I’m pretty sure we can only finish this if we stay together.”

Strength and conviction flowed through her warmly as Levi held her hand, and she reached into the water once more. Mikasa grabbed onto the robe of the reflection and incredibly, pulled it out of the pool. Mikasa and Levi each held real robes, which were bone dry despite coming from the pool. Mikasa turned hers over and saw a strange symbol at the nape of the neck: —.

“Purity,” said Mikasa. The meaning popped into her head on reflex. “Don’t ask me how I know.”

“Don’t worry, I got it too. I’m assuming we’re meant to put on these robes that don’t exist. But why?” Mikasa looked down at her clothes and noticed for the first time she was covered in a film of the strange ash they’d encountered at the original cave. She touched her hair and a puff of ash came out.

Levi looked stricken at the dust falling away from her. His expression turned to horror as Mikasa gave him a pointed look, realizing the ash was covering him too.

“Fucking no way.” Levi started shaking himself out vigorously with a look of disgust.

“Do you think its the ash… that affected us in some way?” Mikasa thought back to when she felt as if her being was melting away in the tunnels.

“No doubt. One of the many things Hange used to talk my ear off about were these plants that have these so called psychoactive properties. For the first time in my life, I’m regretting not listening to her more, I don’t know anything about them. Either way, she didn’t seem like she knew anything about the ash either.

All I know is that its clear what we have to do now.”

Mikasa understood, and standing up, started taking off her clothes.

“Uh Mikasa?” Levi spluttered and turned around.

“What, we have to take a bath in the pool no?”

“My God, yeah I did mean that but give me a warning instead of just suddenly— I give up on you.” Levi undressed along with her. He muttered something along the lines of her lacking any sort of common reasoning to appeal to.

They’d stripped down to their underwear, but Mikasa didn’t care at all to be so exposed in front of Levi. She felt strangely detached from any emotion. Instead all she still felt was clarity.

As Mikasa dipped her feet in the pool, a melodic chime resounded from the water. When she slipped into the pool a consecutive wave of sweet melodies resounded with the ripples of the water. Mikasa couldn’t even question anything that happened at this point. When Levi came into the pool, a string of melodies at a lower pitch responded to hers.

“And now the pool is making music. Great.” Levi dipped his head underwater, but no music resounded anymore save for the sound of water. Mikasa submerged her head too.

“What do you feel?” Asked Levi.

“I feel… like I’m waking up. It’s feels like I’ve been asleep for all this time even when I was awake. If that makes sense.”

“It’s scary that I know exactly what you mean. I don’t even feel like I’m real anymore. As if I exist separately from myself.” Levi sunk low into the water. The music continued echoing through the air, a hauntingly beautiful melody.

“I don’t know if this is real or not, but you’re definitely real Levi. Let’s not dwell too much on it.” Mikasa focused on scrubbing the ash off herself.

“That’s odd,” said Levi, frowning. Mikasa gave him a questioning look.

“The ash doesn’t seem to coming off, no matter how much I scrub.” Mikasa looked at her arm that she’d been cleaning and realized it was the same case for her too.

“What now?” She asked. Levi looked up at the moons on the ceiling.

“Well I have a feeling but… let me try.” He swam towards her and took her arm. He scooped a handful of water and trickled it down the top of her arm. The ash easily came away in the stream of water.

“I thought as much,” said Levi. Mikasa mirrored his movements, and found the ash fell away from him by her touch as well.

“Turn around, I’ll wash your hair.” Levi complied, and Mikasa stood up in the water.

She dipped her hands in the water and softly ran them through his hair, repeating her motions until all the ash had been sifted away. “Feels good,” hummed Levi.

Mikasa swept her hands across his neck and shoulders as a final once-over. “All done.”

“Your turn.” Mikasa sank back down into the water. Levi brushed his hand back through her hair slowly, and she gasped at how heightened the sensation was.

“I know right, I felt it too. Incredible.” Levi chuckled softly. Mikasa sighed as Levi worked his hands, a placid buzz spreading into her muscles, relaxing her from the tension she didn’t know she withheld.

“You’re clean now.” Mikasa pouted at Levi, making him laugh.

“If we ever get back to reality, I’ll gladly wash your hair for you again.” She begrudgingly climbed out of the pool.

Though Mikasa felt refreshed down to her bones, and was sparklingly clean, she was completely dry after getting out of the water.

After they put on their robes, the water of the pool immediately stilled, and its watery projections of light faded out altogether. The pool now showed the reflections of the twin half-moons at the center of the surface where they shone overhead, their pale silvery light now their only illumination.

Mikasa and Levi walked forward and over the surface of the pool, which was now unsurprisingly solid, until they reached the moons.

“Which side?” Asked Mikasa.

“The middle.” The middle was where the two dark sides of the moon joined.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. If we go with the illuminated halves, we’ll be separated. Hold onto me and don’t let go.” He wrapped his arms around her and promptly stepped into the dark moon, sinking them into the depths.

*

When Mikasa opened her eyes, she was still clutching Levi tightly, and they were standing on what felt like fine sand. It was pitch black, she couldn’t even see Levi right next to her, let alone her own hand. She tried to speak, but no sound came out.

She felt Levi tighten his grip on her to an almost bruising strength, but she didn’t care. The thought of them being separated in this boundless nothing filled her with terror.

Then Mikasa noticed a light. A faint blue light in the distance. There was nowhere else they could go, wherever it led it had to be the end.

Mikasa took a step forward and was shocked to feel the crushing pressure pressing in on her from all sides, all while being simultaneously weightless. They were unmistakably underwater from the sensations, yet she could breathe normally and was rooted to the bed of sand.

As they laboriously made their way through the depths, the small point of light started growing larger and larger, and Mikasa knew they were close. It eventually got bright enough for Mikasa to start being able to make out her surroundings, starting with Levi’s face.

His eyes were closed. Yet he was looking around him like he could really see, hair wafting underwater. When he looked at her, she had no doubt that he really saw her.

He reached out his hand to her face, and lightly touched what she realized were her own closed eyelids. Mikasa couldn’t even remember the action required to open her eyes, the very thought seemed foreign to her.Before she knew it, the thought of the mystery of her sight had already faded from her mind as soon as she tried to focus on it.

She looked up at the vast amount of water, but they were so far down, the surface of their surreality was nowhere near in sight. Mikasa thought there might be fish or some algae being this deep underwater, but there wasn’t even a loose speck of sand floating around. There was nothing alive here, only sand and water as far as the eye could see.

The source of the deep blue light finally took shape as they got closer. A 10-foot tall stone statue sat cross-legged on the bed of sand, with a round blue stone the size of a coin on its forehead. The statue was featureless save for the stone on its forehead.

This was beyond any doubt the tide stone. At least Thea was accurate about one thing, she really did know it when she saw it.

Not accounting for the environment it was in, the tide stone was real, she was sure of it. How Mikasa could see such a tiny spot of light across such a great distance was beyond her. From the tunnels, the stone had been leading them here, she could feel it.

As if having sensed their arrival, the statue shifted. It lifted its huge arm up to its smooth face, and two fragments the size of teardrops fell from the tide stone, as if the statue was crying. The statue held the fragments on two separate fingers, and slowly reached out to Mikasa and Levi. She was rooted to her spot, unable to move. The statue pressed the stones into both of their chests, the place where their robes exposed their hearts. Incredibly, the stone melted into her.

Instantly, she heard a loud pop in her ears. As if their tether had been snapped, Mikasa floated up from the sand bed she had been rooted to, Levi along with her.

Her vision went black, and her lungs were suddenly screaming for air. Mikasa felt her senses coming back to her. She snapped her eyes open and swam up and up to reach the surface. The vast space of water was rapidly shrinking, the water whooshing past her ears in currents.

The surface soon came up in sight, like it had come down to meet them, and Mikasa and Levi broke through, gasping for air.

*

Mikasa was still disoriented, but the small pond they were in was incredibly familiar. She looked to the shore and came to face with the entire team of scouts. Hange, Sasha, Eren, Jean, Armin, Historia and Connie were all staring at them open-mouthed. Mikasa’s body gave out, and started sinking into the pond.

A collective scream went up from them, and Eren and Jean got in to pull them out of the water. Mikasa had absolutely no strength left in her.

“Where the hell did you guys come from! Do you have any idea how worried we’ve been?” Hange cried out.They all fussed over them, giving them towels to dry their clothes, which she noticed were their regular uniforms instead of the white robes.

Whatever had happened to them in there, it seemed like Mikasa was back to normal now. The lack of hallucinations was a telling sign for one.

“Please tell me you saw what we saw in there. You guys were in there waay longer than us though,” said Hange.

Levi coughed. “I’m in no position to even begin to talk about what I saw in there. How long were we in there for Connie?”

“This might be hard to believe, but you were in there for 13 hours.” Said Connie. Mikasa’s jaw dropped along with Levi’s.

“How?!”

“It’s still night!” Said Mikasa. All of them went silent. They had strange looks on their faces.

“What are you brats looking like that for? It’s clearly night still, so how the hell could we have been in there for that long? I knew you couldn’t count Connie but I literally gave you one job.” Said Levi.

Hange knelt down in front of Mikasa, ignoring Levi. “Can you tell me what’s over there?” Hange pointed at a spot over the horizon. It was too dark to see, but Mikasa could faintly make out hills in the moonlight.

“A bunch of hills, why?” Hange’s face paled. The scouts had stricken looks on their faces.

“That’s where the sun is. It’s already dawn.” Mikasa’s blood ran cold. She shared a look with Levi, and she could tell he was fearing the same thing.

She ripped her shirt down, and to her horror, unnaturally dark blue veins branched out from a tiny blue spot over her heart.

When Mikasa looked up, there were two half-moons in the real sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret to inform you I am back. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, it's probably my most ambitious chapter to date, took me a minute to write it. I've been trying to learn how to self edit better so I hope this chapter feels better written than the others. Have I progressed? Who knows, not me, I'm just vibing. I wonder what's to come in Mikasa and Levi's eternal night? The moon can make someone feel some type of way, imagine two of them. Hope you're all still sane in quarantine - Mona


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